[10 / 1 / 1]
> Rhea "KFC" Ripley vs Charlotte "ING Insurance" Flair are first on the card for a Womens WWE Prime Hydration title fight. The fight goes to a no contest win after Rhea's manager "The Colonel" throws potato and gravy in Flairs face for a disqualification win. It takes 60 minutes to replace the gravy-stained ring mat so everyone can read the 265 sponsorship logos.
> Second match is a Mens Xfinity Tag Team title fight between the Apple iPhone Brothers vs Seth "freaking fast AT&T internet" Rollins and "Coca Cola" CM Punk. You notice that CM Punks new Coke tattoo has been updated with their new logo. Rollins and Punk retain the titles by dropping the iPhone Brothers through the Tesla Announcers Table. While the table is replaced, WWE plays a montage about the heritage of sponsorship within the WWE, followed by an "in memoriam" segment of past sponsors who have collapsed or gone bankrupt while the crowd applauds each logo that appears and fades to black.
> The final match is a fatal fourway for the Mens Oreo Heavyweight title, between Brock "Toyota" Lesnar, "Kleenmaid" Dom Mysterio, "Wonderbread" Ron Killings and Roman "The San Francisco Department of Public Transportation" Reigns. You don't know how the match ends, because the announcers are livestreaming themselves playing Call of Duty XX on a PS6.
> The show ends. You turn off your television and sit in the darkness, weeping for the product that you loved. Then your TV turns on again, reminding you that upon buying the show you are now contractually obliged to watch the 30 minute post event advertising show, hosted by Booker "Visit Kansas" T and "Taco Bell" John Cena.
> Second match is a Mens Xfinity Tag Team title fight between the Apple iPhone Brothers vs Seth "freaking fast AT&T internet" Rollins and "Coca Cola" CM Punk. You notice that CM Punks new Coke tattoo has been updated with their new logo. Rollins and Punk retain the titles by dropping the iPhone Brothers through the Tesla Announcers Table. While the table is replaced, WWE plays a montage about the heritage of sponsorship within the WWE, followed by an "in memoriam" segment of past sponsors who have collapsed or gone bankrupt while the crowd applauds each logo that appears and fades to black.
> The final match is a fatal fourway for the Mens Oreo Heavyweight title, between Brock "Toyota" Lesnar, "Kleenmaid" Dom Mysterio, "Wonderbread" Ron Killings and Roman "The San Francisco Department of Public Transportation" Reigns. You don't know how the match ends, because the announcers are livestreaming themselves playing Call of Duty XX on a PS6.
> The show ends. You turn off your television and sit in the darkness, weeping for the product that you loved. Then your TV turns on again, reminding you that upon buying the show you are now contractually obliged to watch the 30 minute post event advertising show, hosted by Booker "Visit Kansas" T and "Taco Bell" John Cena.
