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Man...as another human I'm actually dropping the bullshit and advising you to seek professional help. This shit isn't normal...to get this worked up over some posts on an internet forum. You're going to be dead from stress induced heart attack or even worse, self harm, by the time you hit 40. If you won't do it for your self at the very least honor your parents properly and at least give being a normal functioning adult a real try.
You are already displaying signs of severe mental health issues. You repeat the same lines and phrases over and over again, this is called "Looping Thoughts" and is often a warning sign/symptom of a severe mental breakdown. It's going to be scary at first but I promise you that you will feel better once you get the process of therapy started.