>>6729035Time for frivolities hath ended, sit yeselves down and quieten thine chatter! For later on this eve, there shall be a duel for the team honours 'tween the Acolytes and the knaves Xpac and Kane, verily verily, it matters not. As I proclaim! On the day of the Sun, at the festival of Summertide, the victor of the duel shall bear arms 'gainst mine! Seeking to test mine companion, I sought to challenge his mettle. I commanded Paul Bearer to send pigeons to our comrades at ye Local den of 81 Outlaws - Paul doth sayeth we shall require two steeds for a ride int' the desert. The squire replied 'Brother Paul, know'st we do that the Dead Man can handle such! Forsooth, we harbour doubt t'wards the Big Show! For in the month o'August, the temperature rises to 120 weights of heat in the midst of the Valley of Death!' He sayeth 'The only creatures that survive in the desert art the cold-blooded...the crooked serpents that crawl!' Paul sayeth 'Forbear thine doubts, and for the steed of the Big Show ye shall only pack nuff feed to last til the middle of the desert and nary enuff to travel back!'
So we set off - we arrive int' the midst of the Valley of Death - 120 weights of heat, the steed of the Big Show hath collaps'd. I doth draw my steed next to him and query him thus: 'The heat doth rise to 120 weights, howst will thou survive?' He doth stareth me strait int' mine eyes, with no lapse, he sayeth 'I shall wait til ye fall aslumber, then I shall plunge mine blade in 'tweenst yon back, carve thine flesh, craft mineself a coat, and I shall eat THINE flesh til I find provisions!' I sayeth 'Bravo ye giant! But I doth slumber not a wink!' afore I ride off and abandon him. Thus I wait ont' far reach of the desert. Two days doth pass, he emerges with a tabard and boots made from serpent skin, carrying his Harleth-Davidsons steed on his shoulder. The moral of mine tale be thus! The festival of Summertide shall now be knownst as Armageddon! The foolish who partake,will be hurt!
