[11 / 6 / 8]
>Goes to take a shit >Wild Thing starts to play >Mistakes the door for a table and crashes through, cutting his eyebrow >Gets up, does a meandering promo to reflection in the mirror - something about blood >Cuts himself opening his belt, bleeds profusely from hand, sits down on the can >Notices dick, flips it off while grinning >Takes UFC submission hold of dick, chokes it so hard he shits >Fights to not tap out, going almost unconscious until he manages to chop his hand loudly with the other to break the hold >Chops his own chest red with each arm to determine which hand is winner >Winning hand grabs the toilet paper, gets paper cuts >Somehow manages to turn toilet paper into barb wire and gets stuck in it, bleeds. >Determines he is done shitting, gets up pulls up pants and gets hit by his own belt >Headbutts mirror as a revenge, behind the mirror a black bag >Excalibur is ecstatic announcing the mystery of the bags contents while peeping through the broken door >Pours content of bag to floor, it's thumbtacks >Backdrops on thumbtacks while bleeding and covered with barb wire >Counts himself out and rolls to door >Stands up, Flips at the toilet seat, walks away confidently without selling what just happened >Wild Thing starts again >Another great match for AEW Toilet Rim Champion Jon Moxley
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>>6813351 shitter mox sucks
Anonymous
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>>6813351 Great analysis bro
Anonymous
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>>6814446 I know Mox, you have dyslexia and it's hard.
Anonymous
>>6813351 where will excalibur turn up next
Anonymous
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not really believable since we all know he pisses on his kid not his toilet
Anonymous
>>6817525 >Wild ting starts play >Jon Moxley walks into a Starbucks >The clerk "Welcome to Starbucks.." >Mox gets in the face of the clerk >HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I GOT REAL DARK IN THE HEAD. I DON'T REMEMBER ALL. I'M BURNING FOR YOU BLOOD, COFFEE. I'VE SLEPT TOO LONG KNOWING I DIDN'T GET TO DRINK YOUR BLOOD. I'M HERE SPILLING MY GUTS OUT!!! >"S-sir, this is a Starbucks, may I take your order..." >I SAID I NEED SOME OF THE PAIN. I DON'T WANT SEE THAT SALTED CARAMEL CREAM COLD BREW, I WANT THE REAL COFFEE, THE COFFEE THAT WON THE INTERNATIONAL IWGP TITLE IN JAPAN, I WANT THE VERANDA BLEND VENTI. I WANT THAT PAIN AND DESTRUCTION AND BLOOD. WHEN YOU ARE READY TO FACE THE THIRD CHIN CHAMPION JON MOXLEY YOU BRING IT HERE. I BLEED FROM THE EYES! >"o-ok sir, coming right up, please..." >Mox proceeds to grab a chair and sits in the middle of the aisle. Gesturing for the coffee to come out. >Clerk gives coffee to Mox, coffee instantly clotheslines Mox but he gets up no-selling >Mox grabs the chair and hits the coffee but the coffee coffee reverses it with a super kick. >Coffee works the audience while Mox grabs a blade from his wrist and cuts himself while everyone is looking at him. >Coffee puts Mox in a leg submission, Mox bleeds but flips off the clerk and people watching the match >Mox reverses the leg hold and puts coffee in a chokehold >Excalibur is cooming in his pants about how great the match is from behind women's bathroom door. >Match has turned into chop competition, coffee slams Mox so hard he is bleeding from the chest. >Mox opens the coffee with a UFC chokehold to find it's filled with barbwire and thumbtacks, it's spilled on the floor. >Mox lays coffee on the ground in the ground on the thumbtacks and climbs on the counter while covered in barbwire. Frog splash! >Audrey shows up and counts to three. >Wild ting plays again >Jon Moxley retains AEW Intersexual Championship Belt Anonymous
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>>6817686 >As Mox is walking away a hooded figure emerges from the crowd and hits him in the back with a chair. >The mystery man takes off his hood to reveal an all too familiar face. >Excalibur screams, “I know that baby, I wrestled with that baby back in Japan in Pretty Princess Power Pro, but that baby is not the baby standing in front of me.” >The baby picks up the strap and holds it up as Excalibur deliriously recites the card for this weeks rampage. Anonymous
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>Moxley gets into his car and starts the engine >Radio starts playing Wild Ting >Excalibur yells from the trunk "Wait a minute! That's not John Moxleys car, thats the Japanese Hardcore Car Match champion Mitsubishi Suzuki, what is he doing here?!!!" >Mox starts frantically exchanging blows with the steering wheel >Airbag blows into the face of Mox, he starts to bleed from his forehead >Mitsubishi Suzuki pulls out the seat belt and starts choking Moxley >Mox is about to pass out but he elbows the seat and twists the car in first gear without a clutch, applies a leg hold to gas pedal >Car violently kicks Mox as it flies over the curb landing hard >Moxley grabs the rear view mirror and blades himself in the ear to the horror of Aubrey sitting in the backseat ignoring foreign objects in the match >Mox kicks the the front window off of Mitsubishi Suzuki but Suzuki retaliates by spraying the window cleaner mist into Mox's eyes >Swerving through on coming traffic wildly Mox is being choked and hit with the service manual but he flips everyone off >Mox grabs the ashtray, to hit the dash board with it's full of thumbtacks that fly all over the car >Mox grabs the wheel sensing there is a exit near by and twists it into a UFC choke hold. >Mitsubishi and Mox fly through a chain link fence, the barbed wire on top snatches Moxley and he bleeds more. >Mitsubishi crashes into a pile of airbag mattresses conveniently placed in the yard. >Mox climbs out of Mitsubishi and pins him laying on top of the roof, Aubrey counts to three >Wild Ting starts to play >AEW Inner tire champion Mox retains the belt >Baby from Pretty Princess Power Pro introduced 3 weeks ago makes a sudden appearance and attacks Moxley, army of referees pull them apart.
