Quoted By:
Stand up and begin bellowing in every direction about the downfall of the wrestling industry due to has-beens trying to get a few more minutes in the sun. The n-word gets used multiple times through this rant.
I then deny that it is my candy bar, that CM Punk planted it there, that I don't even eat candy because that is empty calories, and finally deny the existence of candy bars altogether.
After I finish screaming until I am purple and sweating, I begin to pant and grab my chest, stumble over to wherever Phil's gear is and collapse through it. I will attempt to poo myself but it is not strictly required. People will grow concerned and call for an ambulance. As I sit there regaining my composure I demand the name of the venue owner and manager on site. I repeat their name over and over in a low, contemptuous growl.
Finally, when paramedics arrive, I get up and stop selling my ailments. As I was not the one who called the ambulance there will be no penalties for the paramedics being refused. I pick up all of my things and before leaving declare that CM Punk is considerably worse than Hitler, Fukushima, and stepping on a lego.
