Quoted By:
YOU THINK YOU'RE HARD WILL, YOU THINK YOU'RE TOUGH BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR ASS BEAT WHEN YOU WERE SEVENTEEN? WELL THAT JUST SOUNDS LIKE A WORKING CLASS BRITISH EDUCATION TO ME, BUT I DIGRESS.
WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN. WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN! I PUT MYSELF...I PUT MYSELF, WILLINGLY, INTO THE MASTURBATION MACHINE! YOU SEE WILL, MY GRANDFATHER, MY ZAYDE, HE'S THE GREATEST MAN I KNOW. HE'S A SURVIVOR! AND I KNEW THAT IF I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT IN THIS BUSINESS, I'D HAVE TO BE JUST AS TOUGH AS HE WAS. SO I TOOK IT UPON MYSELF TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO THE SAME HORRORS, THE SAME PAIN, THE SAME TORTURE THAT HE WENT THROUGH! SO I TOOK OUT MY WHOPPING FOUR INCH CIRCUMCISED PISHADEEL, AND LIKE THE JEWISH STALLION I AM I JAMMED IT IN! AND THAT MACHINE, THAT DEVILISH GERMANIC CONTRAPTION...IT MILKED ME...IT MILKED ME GOOD. SECONDS FELT LIKE MINUTES, AND MINUTES FELT LIKE HOURS...I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG HE WAS STRAPPED UP IN IT. IT WOULD HAVE SUCKED OUT MY VERY SOUL, IF THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT JEWS HAD! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I CAME WILL? DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO CHAFE, WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A FORESKIN!? WHEN IT WAS FINALLY OVER, AND I TOOK MY COCK OUT OF THAT INFERNAL DEVICE, IT LOOKED LIKE I HAD JUST BEEN RECIRCUMCISED. BUT THERE WAS NO RABBI THIS TIME TO LICK MY WOUNDS. I CRIED. I CRIED A LOT. NOT JUST BECAUSE I'M A PUSSY AND MY PEEPEE HAD AN OWIE, BUT I CRIED FOR MY GRANDFATHER, KNOWING THAT HE HAD EXPERIENCED THIS VERY SAME HELL, AN UNTOLD NUMBER OF TIMES.
BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT, JUST LIKE MY ZAYDE, I SURVIVED! AND AT FULL GEAR, I WILL SURVIVE YOU, JON MOXLEY!
