Shit I can relate.
One time I had this young girl interested in me constantly wanting to be with me. She was really sweet and looked attractive but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. She was legal age here and I was quite a bit older. I even insulted her and tbqh bullied her to make her not like me anymore and leave me alone. Somehow that felt easier than being straight with her an saying no. Eventually I just blanked her because I couldn't let myself to take her innocence. It was weird, a self cucking because of my upbringing or something? I dunno. Might have been porn or some fucked up part of me that wanted a less 'innocent' girl, or I was a pussy. Like I wasn't going to hurt her. I felt bad because she seemed disappointed but I just wanted chicks with more expectations. I dunno I'm rambling and tired af I say I like young girls but my subconscious loves gross whores I guess
