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My family has fragmented over the years. My grandparents’ house was where all the holiday stuff happened but he’s dead and she’s in a nursing home and the house was sold. Everyone has their own thing. My mom is the only person who wants to see me but it’s not reliant on the holiday, she doesn’t really do anything herself. Everyone else, I’m in their outer orbits at best. They don’t invite me over but even if they did, I’d be a visitor in someone’s house and not at the family home. Usually it’s okay but the holidays do make me nostalgic for a time when I was one of many, not one of one. Oh well, I’m fat and autistic so their christmases are a lot better without me. I guess that’s my Christmas gift to them and also to me — I’m not making their Christmases uncomfortable, and I get to be secure in the fact that I’m not making their Christmases uncomfortable