>>6306280>>6306179>>6306083ALL HANDS ON DECK
The CORNERSTORE is a bit cramped but the stock is diverse and plentiful enough and that's all that matters. Kinda reeks of spunk and weed, smells just like home!
Can't blame the poor soul running this dump, having to service the same three clowns everyday for all eternity, you'd jerk that thing until you rip it clean off one day; they say people get glimpses of the metaphysical fate that awaits them after death here on earth, and this looks exactly like an afterlife God might manufacture just for you: minimum wage with a shitty fan that barely works trying to refresh your overheated, itchy carcass, mountain of tissues under your chair, and from time to time a crazy bitch with a flamethrower douses you in gasoline and sets you ablaze.
Deuce as always is fretting over trivialities like "timing", "available space to maneuver" and "legality". Ye of little faith, your TACTICAL MASTERMIND carefully cultivated by years of days-long Civ IV sessions and a NatGeo magazine about Napoleon you read in the toilet like, once or twice is sure to handle any variable, strategy, psy-op, glow-op, inside-job, blow-job and fuck-up that comes your way.
Hmm, well the WD-40 can be useful as a mini-flamethrower maybe? fight fire with fire and all that, the fire extinguisher's kind of a gamble, but we can always cave her stupid fucking head in with it if it doesn't work.
God yeah you kind of didn't think this through, is this really all there is? I mean there's not much here aside from uhh, soda cans (grenades), hot sauce in glass bottles (napalm), playboy mags on the rack (morale booster), balsamic vinegar (nerve gas) and kinder eggs (choking hazard).
Wait where's the other bitch? You oughta ask for her name you can't just call her that all the time, not because you care but because it's annoying having to number and keep track of all the bitches ruining your life, for reference Deuce is bitch #36577 and your landlady is bitch #82712, you really need a better system to keep tr—wait what the fuck are you doING STOOOOOP.
GodFUCKINGDAMNIT, guess it's true: no plan ever survives first contact, specially if you have BITCHES in the equation.
RED ALERT, BROKEN ARROW EVENT, WARNING ORDER, SHIT'S GONE SNAFU AND WILL PROBABLY HIT FUBAR SOON.
NO OTHER CHOICE LEFT.
https://youtu.be/51Aiz5wCcOI>USE THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER [1D100, DC 80]>WD-40 SPRAY TO THE FACE [1D20, DC 12]>THROW HANDS [REALLY?!!]>DISTRACT HER [HOW??]>THROW SODA CANS AT HER>COLLAPSE THE SNACK STAND ON HER [1D100 DC 95] 
