Oi, Gathah round, Boyz!

Dis iz a tale not like any 'eard befor! S'got Epik WAAAAGHS, 'Uge Choppas, da Dakkiest Shootahs, shiniez a'plenty, proper skrapz , brutal krumpin, Ladz boaf weird an ded ard! S'even got a Gork an Mork innit !

All'n'All, itz Rite Legendery!

An' da best part iz, dat t'all appened! 'onest!

It beginz a long time 'go, on a wee planet umiez kalled "Hi-raethe". But dats stoopid. Da Orks 'ad a bettah name for it. But dats me gettin' heada myself. Dey say it wuz green, but not even orky. Da Umiez there herded squigs a'plenty. but deez humiez wuz week! Datz wut da Pink Spikey boyz fort! They kame in an krumped most a da week umiez, an took da tuff wunz. Den, dey grinded up da squigs to a powdah, an snorted it. But da blue an yellow beakiez 'ated dat. dey came over and gave da pink spiky boys a gud thrashin. but befor dey wuz all squashed, da Pink spiky boys sent out a call to WAAAAAGH, and da ovva Spiky boyz listened gud. Dey kame ovah, and beet da tar out da beakies. One ting led to anovva, and da hole of da planet was stomped flat. All dose ships krashed down on da now brown an dusty planet dat de Orks kall "Skrapheep"! Now datz a gud name!

'Ang on it getz bettah!

Wun day, a sertain tribe wuz undah attak by freebootahs, but da tribe... dey 'ad a trikk up dere sleeve, in de vent of a mergency such as diz.

A cave full to da brim with fresh yoofs, ready to spring up an throttle dem freebootahs. An wun a deez Yoofs wuz...

'Old on, I've... lost it. Zog.

Wate! Dont go, I hav it now. Da tribe and yoof wuz...