>>5410405Spurred on by each other’s enthusiasm, you waste no time in heading over to <span class="mu-g">THE WHIRLPOOL–</span>the ultimate test!
“I heard that at this one carnival in, like, <span class="mu-g">TENNESSEE</span> or something, some dude stood up and jumped so much that he <span class="mu-i">FLEW</span> outta’ the top of the ride!”
Bull<span class="mu-i">SHIT</span>, you scoff as you press your cheek into his side, you’ve done that a bunch of times and <span class="mu-i">you’ve</span> never flown out!
“Scout’s honor, Stan. Dude flew all the way into the petting zoo!” Counters Talbot as the two of you find a spot in the short line! “They found the goats and sheep nibbling on his body!”
They’re gonna be nibbling on <span class="mu-i">HIS</span> body if he doesn’t shut up, you growl as you give him a playful headbutt! That crap isn’t real!
“Tell you what: since this is supposed to be a nice date and all, I won’t even dare you to try it!” Laughs Talbot as you approach the ride entrance! “See? I can be a gentleman sometimes!”
Sure, you reply with a roll of your eyes, you’d <span class="mu-i">love</span> to see him do it someday!
“Screw you… I’m payin’ for all the rides, aren’t I?” He counters as he hands the operator a few crisp bills!
Yea, you shrug as you make your way inside the ride, but that’s, like, ‘<span class="mu-i">shiverlery</span>’ or whatever–guys are supposed to pay on dates! It’s the law!
“Yea, but it also says they kick dragons’ asses and rescue chicks–sound familiar?” He asks smugly as the two of you find a pair of ‘seats’. Yea right!
“<span class="mu-s">Alright folks, just a reminder NOT to stand up when the ride starts–still cleaning the blood off from the last time! Ha ha, kidding! Seriously though, don’t do it.</span>”
Following the operator’s warning, the ride slowly starts to spin! Looking up at the stars shining in the clear sky above you, you feel a tiny devil poof onto your bare shoulder!
“<span class="mu-r">Do it, Stan… you know you wanna!</span>”
Cackling in a high-pitched voice, the <span class="mu-r">DEVIL STAN</span> only lasts for a few seconds before your <span class="mu-i">OTHER</span> demon scares it off!
“<span class="mu-r">SHOO! SHE’S MINE!</span>”
Poofing away in a red cloud, the devil leaves you with an itch for mischief!
“<span class="mu-r">Don’t do it, Stan… remember the warning! And Talbot’s story!</span>”
It’s <span class="mu-i">fine</span>, you hiss as Talbot cheers next to you, Talbot’s just stupid! And you’re wearing your lucky underwear today, so-
“<span class="mu-r">But Stan, it-wait, that’s your LUCKY underwear? Oof…</span>”
Yea, dick, now shut up–you’re trying to RIDE!
“SORRY!” Shouts Talbot as you feel the force push you back into the seat! With everything warmed up, there’s only one last thing to do…
<span class="mu-b">Q1: DO YOU STAND UP?! MINUS TO ROLL, PLUS TO DATE RANK IF SUCCESS!</span>
>YES!>NO!<span class="mu-b">Q2: DO YOU JUMP A LOT? BIG MINUS TO ROLL, BIG PLUS TO DATE RANK IF SUCCESSFUL!</span>
<span class="mu-b">LASTLY, ROLL ME 1d100+10(+5 FAVORED RIDE, +5 LUCKY(?) UNDERWEAR) TO NOT FUCK UP! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!</span>
