>>5406611Congratulations, you begin in an earnest tone, congratulations to my brother Sue and his new wife: a pair of the biggest cowards I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing!
A few scattered laughs rise up from the tables.
Love’s a funny thing, isn’t it? We use love as an excuse for everything, you continue with a big smile on your face! Sue ‘<span class="mu-i">loves</span>’ his family. Sue ‘<span class="mu-i">loves</span>’ his friends. Sue ‘<span class="mu-i">loves</span>’ his life. But isn’t that a little too convenient, hmm?
The laughing stops as some of your close family members start to look puzzled.
The truth is, you slur, Sue doesn’t give a damn about anyone but <span class="mu-i">himself</span>--he does whatever’s convenient for him until it’s not, and right now it’s convenient for him to shack up with this no-talent <span class="mu-r">ART BITCH</span> and move to fucking Vermont, and why?
Because you couldn’t hash it out here, you spit! Because <span class="mu-i">Leonardo DUH Van Gogh</span> here can’t get more than ten of her own dipshit friends to visit her art shows so whoops, time to move and fail somewhere <span class="mu-i">else</span>! Even with your friends and family, you still wanna run away and leave it all behind… because behind those happy, confident masks of yours, you snarl, you’re both a bunch of <span class="mu-i">quitters</span>! <span class="mu-s">QUITTERS!</span>
A few groomsmen get up to take the mic from you while Sue stares holes into your face next to a mortified Heather.
So go ahead, you add, stumbling away from your pursuers, because as far as I’m concerned, you died the minute you started letting this <span class="mu-r">ART BITCH</span> poison your mind! In fact, you conclude, <span class="mu-s">STAY DEAD</span>. Enjoy the rest of your shitty lives together!
Moments before being tackled, you spike the microphone into the wedding cake from across the party! As you tumble to the floor laughing like a jackal, your memory concludes with you staring at Sue’s stone faced expression…. And then nothing.
“So yea…” Heather concludes with a faint tremble in her voice, “That’s… that’s how it was…”
>CONTD. 