Quoted By:
>Rolled 20 (1d20)
“And then, Seth says, ‘Sometimes I get boners so big I can’t hide them. And then I get nervous and my heart starts pounding, and it all just, like, feeds my boner. It just becomes this...thing...that’s attached to me. And it won’t go away.” You continue, performing some extensive hand signs and getting kind of into the reminiscing.
“Bah! Too juvenile. That’s how it is with all SETH ROGEN COMEDIES.” The rad priest scoffs, making your brow twinge in anger. Funny People and Knocked Up, maybe, but SUPERBAD is a classic. “Enough with her blabbering. Take her, and turn her into some kind of vegetable person, or a crystal person, or something.”
You point your hand behind your back down, and your stand-in duke catches the hint. You hear the catch of metal against metal as the cord of the machine gives way and the immense golden ball comes hurtling down from the arm. You don’t even get the chance to blink. The cactus priest is there one moment, and then an oozing green stain on the ball the next.
“Come on! We gotta go!” The foreman waves you in, and while you’re not eager to abide by his orders, you hop into the chassis anyway. The heavy machinery is far from the fastest thing in the wasteland, but the mutant zealots seem too preoccupied with the remains of the splattered priest to come after you.
[...]
“Phew. That was close! I mean, I like a good RADBATH every now and then, but you overdo it and it gives you crazy kinds of cancer. Kinds of cancer you didn’t even think existed. Like nose cancer. And elbow cancer.” The radish whistles, the church disappearing beneath a dune in your rearview mirror now. “Not too many people are built for radiation like that, ‘cept for the MUTANT KING. You good? They didn’t splash you any? Messed with your DNA a little?”
“I’m fine. Thanks. For killing that guy.” You suppose you can entreat him to a single thanks for being competent enough to do his job. “Let’s keep going East. How about..”
>Follow a path lined with bones.
>Follow a path where the scent of NOODLES wafts by.
>[Write-In.]
