Quoted By:
>My feelings got the better of me.
I wished to say she was cute. I earnestly wished to. ‘That hat looks well on you.’ was something I could have said. But I did not. My heart was still tense and uncertain, so the thing which came out of my mouth was this… bland, moronic attempt of provoking a conversation.
“Your hat looks… nice. Where did you find those plumes?” And delivered in the most uneven and shaky tone, of course.
“Ah, thanks. These are from gamecocks; the yellowcock - whitetail breed in particular. They are fine things. I do not follow cockfighting seriously nowadays, but—” On Airin’s face appears a smile, and her tone grows ever more cheerful. “—I could never forget them: wide and full breasted, long and slender in the body, and big-boned, they were — the — finest cockfighters. They stand proudly as a lion, all the while being as grand as - perhaps more than - a peacock! Wondrous things.” Airin gushes about the gamecock at length.
Ah. I see. She’s quite talkative in her area of interest. Mhm. I might have a second shot at this.
“Yeah. Their tail feathers really are quite something else. They- uh- they really compliment your hat.” That moronic sentence somehow manages to claw its way out of my throat yet again. I take a moment to process my thoughts before talking again.
“I- uh- you- you look well… in it, I meant.” Even with some shakiness in my throat, I succeed in voicing my feelings.
“thanks.” Airin nods in response.
And no words were exchanged for many, many seconds since. I never did get a good look at her expression; her height being half of mine and that wide-brimmed hat does much to obscure her face. An even worse pain suffocates my chest and stomach. I really made this awkward, didn’t I? Damn it all.
“.. uh- hey. Your- your hat. I found that to be nice, too. I have not seen podsandflowers of vanilla on hats before, but youmadeitlookprettywell. It- it goes well with your clothes is what I meant.” Airin breaks the silence by trying to compliment the hat I wear during workdays. No longer present is that cheery tone, no, her words instead feel shaky and rushed. I could hardly see that smile anymore.
“Yeah.. thanks. I—” For a moment, I thought about explaining the importance of such, and stories of me and my sister, but I decided to cut things short - there is already enough distance between us.
“—I appreciate it.”
And silence resumed, and we - or I, at least - pretends the conversation never took place.
