Quoted By:
>Well um as it transpires
"You don't know anything happened," you say. "You've been all stuck in here, doing your dumb <span class="mu-i">renovations,</span> and you couldn't even get in contact with me, is what you said, so all you're doing is assuming very- very uncharitable things, which is not the kind of behavior I expect from—"
It's hard to put a bead on Gil, since he has no facial expression to speak of. Somehow that makes it all so much worse. Like one of those inkblot tests, you can go ahead and read whatever you fear most into him: disgust? Disdain? Pity? He doesn't even say anything, just clasps his own hands. Maybe mocking you. Probably mocking you.
"—from... from..." You swallow. "It's not my fault! Geez! Do you think I like it? Do you think it's <span class="mu-i">fun</span> when I go and— and— it's like it eats me, Gil, like it eats my whole brain, and I just start thinking horrible... and I start wanting to... I don't want to kill people! I don't even want to kill bad people, really, I just— I mean, it'd be okay if I threw them in the dungeon, or the snake pit, but I don't <span class="mu-i">have</span> a snake pit, yet, and it's not like I start thinking about killing people in normal ways, it's always strangling them with my bare hands, or melting their eyeballs, and I know <span class="mu-i">you</span> wouldn't get it, because your fancy magyck just makes you all weird and huggy..."
You stop for breath. Gil has pressed his hands to his neck. "...You killed somebody?"
"I don't know! I can't remember... I think I did. And he was really annoying and I think he was a proper villain, maybe, since he was trying to murder somebody else, I mean actually murder, but that doesn't mean I..." Your lip is wobbling, and you stop again. Contain yourself, Lottie. Gil's right: two days in a row of crying in front of your retainer is two too many.
"So you saved somebody's life?"
"I don't know! Gil, I told you, I can't remember— maybe she's also dead. And he had three arms. That was really weird. Maybe more than three..."
"So you were trying to save somebody's life?" Gil isn't understanding. "That's... I-I-I thought you went crazy again! Or you drank more blood water, or... you just killed some guy? I-in defense of somebody else? That sounds like a normal hero thing..."
"I <span class="mu-i">did</span> go crazy! I— and it's the morning, and Earl's really hurt, and I messed everything all up again, and now I'm stuck with the stupid cult, and I still don't know what was the deal with the eyeball, and—"
"Hey, slow down." Gil unclasps his hands. "One thing at a time. The eyeball? You mean your—"
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