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It’s no small feat to package the entirety of human innovation and history into a few posts, but if anyone can do it, it’s <span class="mu-b">ANTON PEAS!</span> You may not remember much of who you are, but you can give Volka the broad strokes, right?
The girl hangs on every word as the path once again departs from the fungi-scented trees and into a winding, rocky path assaulted on all sides by winds that feel strong enough to blow you away! Your guide holds firm, however, and her eyes light up with childlike excitement as you tell her everything, especially when you mention trains!
“And this ‘Innt’uurneht’... it can find anything you want?! Answer any question!?”
Yep, you nod, just another one of humanity’s greatest inventions!
“And these ‘Cats’... they just live there?”
No, you frown, you’ve been over this–the stuff on the internet is just an image… a copy. But, you add with a shrug, there was a cat <span class="mu-i">somewhere</span>... That’s the only way the picture could have been taken!
“I get it now…” Volka nods, most likely not ‘getting it’, ”Wow… so getting a picture taken means you basically live forever…”
You didn’t really think of it like that before, you reply, but you suppose so! As you finish your response, the amazon comes to a halt with a look of determination on her face. “Such a weird place… so much information… and so many people arguing… forever…”
Hey, it’s a bit more complicated than that, you add, a little hurt at her simple breakdown of the greatest invention ever, people also insult each other too!
“Rookie,” Volka begins, “This ‘Intoornit’ of yours… we should <span class="mu-i">MAKE</span> it!”
You <span class="mu-i">do</span> miss it, you nod, but-
“It would change all of the Darklands! For the better!” Gripping you by the shoulders, Volka brings you close to her face, her eyes wide and glittering like gemstones! “How do we do it!? Tell me!”
Well uh, you stammer, you’re um… you’re not sure. Volka’s expression visibly deflates as she cocks her head to the side. “B-but… but you humans made it…”
Yea, well… someone <span class="mu-i">ELSE</span> made it, you explain in an apologetic tone. You just uh… use it. For stuff.
“Like what?”
A chill runs down your spine as you realize what corner you’ve backed yourself into! Important stuff, you mutter! For work!
“Oh yea, you haven’t mentioned anything about YOU yet!” The amazon nods, already forgetting the last hour or so of exposition! “Do you work at one of those ‘Zooz’ you told me about? I hope so!”
You open your mouth to give her the grim truth, but something causes you to stop… something <span class="mu-i">WICKED!</span>
The truth is, you begin in a grave tone, you work for the <span class="mu-r">FBI</span>...
“What’s that? Is it like the Lamplighters?”
Almost, you nod. You’re a… <span class="mu-r">Federal Boob Inspector…</span>
>Roll 1d100+15 (+5 Volka Gullible, +5 Volka Trust +5 No Sense of Right or Wrong, Apparently) for reasons! Best of 3!
