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Maybe you are jealous of their powerful empire or monoculture, their shared experience. No- it's isn't so much that you're <span class="mu-i">jealous</span> of them. You think you <span class="mu-s">hate</span> the Jaxtians.
To simply say that one hates someone above them in a society is jealousy or insecurity may be true- but these feelings aren't controlled by you. The Jaxtians are your masters, everyone about the society in which you live caters towards them. Their needs. Their "grand and glorious legacy that must last until the end of time." Of course not being a part of that stings.
But the worst part? Can you even blame them? Everybody has an in group preference. This goes beyond race. You mostly like to spend time with other Blue-Haazar. <span class="mu-i">Real</span> Haazar are all very foreign and alien, Jaxtians are socially untouchable and above your station. Only the blue Haazar here, on Xin colony working in the dust fields outside are your real friends. Besides- even if you hate the Jaxtians- what can you do about it? You feel sadness. To speak your anger would only bring the Hegemony's wrath around you- you'd be silenced, or worse. You could try to be like Ingar. Everyone now knows how he stewed and slowly cooked up a plot to wrest control of the Hegemony while faking obedience- you <span class="mu-i">could</span> do something like that, but given your low birth status you doubt you'd ever get that power. And then you'll be punished, killed, and life will go on.
Even if you <span class="mu-i">could</span>, you wouldn't really be hurting the power structure. The Supreme Ruler is as untouchable to you as the Vetucker's belief in an unknowable, infinite divine- only last year did teaching material on them become available. Probably because pretty soon, they'll be Vetuck kids in a classroom just like this, being told to "manage their expectations" on their importance in the Hegemony. That the Hegemony exists to make their lives better, but they'll always be second- and then justifying this by saying it is righteous and good. Even a bombing or suicidal attack would just hurt innocents, not those who created this empire centuries ago- making it so resilient and all-consuming.
It's totally pointless... you can't do anything. Not now, and probably not ever. You wonder how long you'll be able to bottle it up. Maybe the AI network will ping your online searches as being negative or suspicious, and you'll get a visit from an authority. You'll either shit yourself and admit to your antisocial thoughts, or you'll get so paranoid that soon after that they will KNOW you're hiding something. You're 100% screwed.
...Huh, looks like today is career day. Pretty big deal. Of course, Blue-Haazar get less choices then regular Jaxtians... but these are all actually pretty lucrative careers- and no doubt curated to what you're already good at. Hmm, which should you pick?
