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>The ADRENALINE and CAMO IMPLANT are now applied to your character! They are a permanent upgrade that can only be removed through surgery or anomalous means.
>Character sheet will be adjusted accordingly.
With that painful process over, you insert the disc into a small slot on the side of your TV. Apparently they decided it was more profitable to do this and upcharge the HELL out of TV prices. The static blur quickly disappears into a very, very cheesy looking yoga studio.
A balding man with a long, flowing beard and a bright purple jumpsuit is surrounded by a crowd of women and men in yoga attire. An obviously fake third eye symbol is painted onto the old man's forehead. He stares at the camera. "Now. You have bought this DVD to help yourself achieve enlightenment, have you not?"
"With the power of yoga," He cryptically croaks out. "Your mind will bend to your will and your body will bend to your mind. That is the power of true enlightenment. Unity of body, soul, and mind."
"Unity of body, soul, and mind!" The crowd of students repeat in unison.
[UNSTABLE] [ANOMALOUS ABILITIES] You are disgusted at this wretched excuse of a man. It's clear that only a fool would acknowledge his powers, if any, remotely compare to yours.
[PERSON OF INTEREST] Even if it is bogus, improving your body is one step to avoid getting killed. Let's not be hasty.
The disc moves on to some basic yoga poses for you to mimic. All of them have silly names like 'Virabhadrasana II A' and 'Rolando Pose' but you do them anyways. You take deep, calm breaths as your body begins to move to mimic what is shown to you.
It doesn't take long for your body to loosen up. Your legs and feet are the first to loosen up, then your arms, then your torso. You're not that old in the grand scheme, probably 24 at oldest, but it's doing a hell of a job loosening you up.
Before you even know it, you're entering the ZONE. Your movements become automated, your breathing becomes automated, your thoughts becoming automated. When it tells you to move your foot, you do so. When it tells you to bend backwards, you do so with ease.
Eventually the program finishes up after about an hour. <span class="mu-g">Your body feels a lot more flexible after you followed its instructions.</span> It's most evident in your legs but every bit of you is somewhat improved here.
>+1 TALENT! TALENT IS NOW 5!
Your calm, peaceful state of mind is instantly interrupted by your phone ringing in your pocket. You let out a small sigh before digging it out and answering it.
"Well, well. freakshit. Didn't know you had it in you." The Handler cackles. "You actually made a friend with that old fart, huh?" There's an odd pause. The sudden switch in his voice to something more sentimental is jarring.
<span class="mu-g">"Thank you."</span>
"Huh?"
"Hey! I'm being nice here. You helped a friend of mine out and I felt like giving you the proper dude. Is that SO hard to believe I would do?"
"...Yes?"
"Well, fuck you too!"
"Not my type."
