Quoted By:
Lil’ Stanley hasn’t done you wrong yet… not that she’s done a lot of good, either. Still, you reason, it wouldn’t hurt to cheer her on a bit being her supposed ‘<span class="mu-i">master</span>’ and whatnot.
Erupting into a torrent of frantic claps and cheers, you attempt to throw in a whistle or two as well, but fail miserably! Still, your spastic and sudden enthusiasm causes both critters to put their scrap on hold, most likely due to them thinking you’re a predator coming to eat them!
Thankfully, Lil’ Stanley’s been around you long enough to be semi-used to your antics, so while the opossum/possum/opossoumo freezes in place with visible confusion on its hoary face, your ‘<span class="mu-i">pet</span>’ in name only takes advantage of the situation and tackles her foe to the ground!
Shrieks fill the air as the terrible trash panda nips and claws at the opossum with renewed vigor, no doubt rejuvenated by your all but divine intervention! Grabbing her foe by its wormlike tail, Lil’ Stanley begins to swing the poor critter around like a grim hammer throw event!
Hissing and clawing at the air, the opossum reaches terminal velocity as the skeletons bay for blood! With one final mischievous grin on her bandit-masked face, Lil’ Stanley has a change of heart and lets her foe go…
Into the <span class="mu-i">SKY</span>, that is!
Sailing up and over the crowd, the opossum shakes its pink, gnarled fist as it tumbles into low orbit and disappears into the horizon!
“<span class="mu-s">WOAH-HO, FOLKS! I HAVEN’T SEEN A POSSUM GET TOSSED LIKE THAT SI-WAIT, NOPE, THAT WAS A WOMAN! GOLLY, POP WAS FULL OF SPIT AN’ GUNPOWDER! ANYWAYS, THAT ABOUT CONCLUDES THE MOST IMPRESSIVE FIGHT OF THE NIGHT–JUST LIKE TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO REMIND EVERYONE NOT TO FEED THE WILDLIFE! WE’VE ONLY GOT ONE EARTH, PEOPLE–GOTTA TAKE CARE OF HER! ANYWAYS…</span>”
As the MC continues to, well, MC, your favorite mutant raccoon picks up her prize triumphantly before skittering over to you!
“Welp,” Ly remarks as the critter begins the slow climb up your side, “Dat’s dat’, I guess.”
“T’was a rousing battle, t’was!” Andre remarks with an impressed nod!
“<span class="mu-r">Don’t be sad that it’s over, Ly–be happy it happened!</span>” Suggests Nats as the furry bowling ball curls up on your shoulder.
“Now <span class="mu-i">that’s</span> what I call a food fight! Hah! Get it??” Laughs Talbot as your pet noisily gnaws on its prize <span class="mu-i">right</span> next to your ear! You’re welcome, by the way!
>CONTD.
