“<span class="mu-i">She? Tolsh you…</span>” Pepper gloats as she takes another bite. You hate to say it, but the girl’s right on the money–you’re no expert when it comes to paella, of course, but this… it’s like taking a bite out of the sea itself! Waves of spice and hearty flavor conceal an ocean of marine life nestled beneath the ricey depths… depths you want… no, <span class="mu-i">NEED</span> to explore to their very limits! What other rich flavors and sensations could be hidden beneath!?
“EY!” Snarls Pepper as she preemptively scoots her meal further away, “You’ve got some food too, y’know!”
Wasn’t she <span class="mu-i">just</span> begging you for a few tastes a second ago?
The girl responds with a flippant shrug and a ‘<span class="mu-i">hmph</span>’! Well that settles that…
While your date continues to scarf down her dish with the manners of a starved wolf, you open <span class="mu-i">your</span> box as if it were an <span class="mu-s">IED</span>! Unfolding each cardboard flap as though it could explode, you leap back and nearly tip over the couch as the siren’s scent of the <span class="mu-s">ENEMY LINGUINI</span> assails your senses!
“Woah, you good!?” Pepper sputters as you nearly tip the couch over! Y-yea, you stammer, you’re just…
“Ooh! Smells <span class="mu-i">TASTY!</span>”
… you hate to admit it, but it <span class="mu-i">does</span>... Eyeing the steamy pasta and the seafood nestled within like it strangled your mother, you experience a brief flash of pure, unadulterated <span class="mu-s">HORROR</span> as a fork held in Pepper’s hand darts into the dish and scoops it towards your mouth!
https://youtu.be/pExZ6b3rN0M“Open wiiiide!”
A momentary lapse in your defenses is all it takes… and by the time you realize what the <span class="mu-r">RED MENACE</span> is planning, it’s too late! By the time your nerves send the signal to the muscles controlling your mouth, the fork has already breached your teeth!
It’s… it’s <span class="mu-i">OVER!</span>
Torn between initializing your <span class="mu-s">GAG REFLEX</span> at the expense of <span class="mu-r">WASTING FOOD</span> or tanking the blow, but <span class="mu-r">EATING ITALIAN CUISINE NOT MADE BY AN ITALIAN</span>, your tongue briefly brushes against the garlic-soaked noodles and a hearty chunk of scallop… as the hints of flavor rush over to your taste buds, you feel your muscles relax and the tension in your body fade…
This… this is…
When you blink, you find yourself sitting on a beach with foamy, turquoise waves lapping at your feet as they dangle off the edge of a wicker lounge chair! While the midday sun tickles your face with its gentle rays, you feel a gentle breeze caress your face…
Dolphins dance along the waves on the horizon. An old song crackles through the speaker of an old-timey radio… Seagulls sing as they circle above…
And then you’re back. Just in time to get a slap to the face… wait, wha-
<span class="mu-s">OW!</span>
>CONTD. 