>>5274752…It hurts to talk...but you have to. You have to say something.
Anything.
Everything.
“I meant what I said, before…” You cough, forcing the words out syllable by painful syllable. “…I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Yeah, well…could’ve fooled me with how well things have gone for you so far.” Sam scoffs, and you turn to her with what feels like a head stuffed with cotton and jammed with static.
“Isabelle.” You say, and Sam has no reply for that or what follows after. “The Monastery. Almath. Do people just…gloss over the places where I fucked up?”
“Some of them, yeah. Comes with the whole ‘messiah’ shtick…but others? Why would they wanna dwell on stuff that they know you’re torn up about?” She asks, languidly gesturing towards you with one lazy talon. “Looks like you got that plenty covered, yourself.”
“…Fair point.” You admit, not daring to mee the eyes of your family, just out of earshot. “But they’re…different. One’s my daughter. Another’s my girlfriend. Yet another’s-“
“Also your girlfriend.”
You blink your eyes blearily at the cyborg beside you.
“…huh?”
“…’Gee, Shu, how come the Crucible lets you have *two* girlfriends?’” Sam snorts, shaking her head. “But yeah, so…what? Because they care about you, their forgiveness don’t count? Sounds pretty ass-backwards, from where I’m sitting.”
“No, it’s…” You protest, weakly. Trying to put into words just how it feels for all their love to feel so small in the face of everything on your shoulders. “…I love them. And I know they love me, it’s just…a lot, right now. It feels like there’s always something new, always some new crisis to deal with when I’ve already got the Cord wrapped around my neck. It gets hard to…to remember. I have to keep reminding myself, so it doesn’t…so I don’t get overwhelmed.”
“…They’re good people. Dumb, and good.” Sam says, casting a sideways glance at your family, held back by sheer force of will—yours or theirs, you’re not quite sure. “So…are they gonna kick the shit out of me, or what?”
“I don’t…” You hesitate, casting your own quick glance their way. “…I don’t think so, no. At least you caught us when Rath’s out and Amara just left, so…”
“Guess I got lucky then, huh? Gang’s all here, so if they wanted to, they…hm.” Sam trails off. “Doesn’t look like the whole crew, now that I look.”
You scan the faces of your allies, and your immediate family’s all accounted for. Who’s she-?
…
…oh.
“How…how is she?” Sam asks, and you don’t have to guess who it is she’s referring to.
“…Better.” You reply after weighing your options. “She has friends. Three of them, thick as thieves. They’re…really good, together.”
“…Good. Good, she…she deserves that.”
You look to her again, and say; “You do, too.”
(Continued)
