>>6037169>>6037184>>6037201>>6037273>>6037290>>6037383>>6037834"As a lawful good paladin, I will follow my sacred duty to preserve the local laws... and JAM IT IN!" you declare, though you can't help but feel a bit self-conscious as the entire tribe stares at you. "Could we maybe get some privacy?"
"No," the orcs reply in unison. "The new chieftain must prove his virility before the tribe, or be forever condemned as having a micro-penis!"
Urza Pelviscrusher steps forward and commands, "On your back, human! You are tiny, so I am going to do you in the AMAZON POSITION!"
You gulp, envisioning over three hundred pounds of solid green muscle on top of you. Your pelvis is in imminent danger! You have a feeling that letting her ride is one way to break a horse and quickly try to negotiate, "Can I be on top or behind you instead?"
"No," Urza Pelviscrusher replies firmly. "The sub must be on the bottom as per orc law!"
"Fine," you sigh, starting to remove your armor. Turning to the rest of the tribe, you add, "If the rest of you aren’t going to give us some privacy, at least make enough room for me to take my time wrestling Urza into submission. I’ll make sure she feels like a woman by the end of this."
> Roll D20 