Your name is <span class="mu-s">STANLEY PARBLE</span> and you are, to be perfectly honest, <span class="mu-i">REALLY</span> impressed with Talbot! For a while you thought he was just some dopey muscle with an attitude problem, but seeing him treat you to this whole date, win you a prize, and beat the shit out of a killer robot?
Yea… you think you’re gonna ask him out again.
Before you can explore what <span class="mu-i">else</span> the night might bring, and you’ve got quite a few ideas now, thanks, you follow your date’s confused stare over to a jar of <span class="mu-g">PEANUT BUTTER</span> sitting unopened in the middle of the crowd just a few feet away from you.
By the time you realize what’s happening, it’s already too late.
Raising your arms to shield your eyes, you’re thwarted as the jar <span class="mu-s">EXPLODES</span> in a blinding flash leaving your ears ringing and your eyes blurry!
Half-stumbling, half-falling towards where you last saw Talbot, you topple over his prone form as the two of you struggle to regain your equilibrium!
“<span class="mu-i">St-Stan…</span>” Hisses your date as he frantically rubs his eyes, “<span class="mu-i">Wh-what the…</span>”
“<span class="mu-i">TARGETS ARE ON THE GROUND! WRANGLER UNITS–MOVE IN!</span>”
https://youtu.be/fIXX-GIjUa4<span class="mu-r">+CHAOS!</span>
Before you can respond, his answer arrives in the form of several burly figures clad in bulky, padded armor rappelling down the sides of the pier buildings! As the crowd disperses in abject terror, Talbot’s eyes widen as the insignia on the operative’s shoulders becomes clear enough to read:
‘<span class="mu-r">WILD THINGS ANIMAL CONTROL</span>’!
“<span class="mu-i">DEPLOYING ‘CRICKET’ CROWD DISPERSAL UNITS!</span>”
A salvo of cylindrical devices rain down from the roofs as your fellow pier-goers disperse! Upon hitting the ground, the gizmos open revealing a blue, glowing interior that immediately broadcasts a high-pitched clicking noise that wracks your ears with pain! If their sudden appearance didn’t scare everyone off, the devices certainly do!
“<span class="mu-i">PLEASE VACATE THE AREA–THERE IS A POTENTIALLY-RABID ANIMAL ON THE LOOSE!</span>”
Fighting through the pain, both you and Talbot stumble to your shaky legs as the animal control operatives slowly advance on your position carrying what appear to be <span class="mu-r">SYRINGE LAUNCHERS!</span>
“<span class="mu-i">TOC, TARGET IS STILL MOBILE–PLEASE ADVISE!</span>”
A rapid-fire exchange buzzes through the agent’s domed helmet.
“<span class="mu-i">ROGER, ADMINISTERING SEDATIVES. RANGERS, HOLD ROOF POSITION AND PROVIDE SUPPORT!</span>”
You gotta <span class="mu-i">MOVE</span>! NOW!
<span class="mu-b">ROLL ME 1d100(+5 LUCKY UNDERWEAR, +10 TALBOT SUPPORT, -5 DAZED AND CONFUSED, -10 HEELS AND SLINKY DRESS) TO EVADE THE OPERATIVES! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!</span>
