Quoted By:
Having made your character the only thing left was to figure out a name. You lazily clack out ‘Candy’.
<span class="mu-b">This name is currently in use! Please choose another.</span>
“Yeah - figures,” you shrug.
What about … ‘Carol’?
<span class="mu-b">This name is currently in use! Please choose another.</span>
‘Caroll’?
<span class="mu-b">This name is currently in use! Please choose another.</span>
‘Carolllll’?
<span class="mu-b">This name is currently in use! Please choose another.</span>
You suppose a lot of Carols must play the game – at least more than five… You snort, taking another sip of your rum and coke.
‘Candarolly’
<span class="mu-b">Welcome to the infinite suburbs of Horriburg!</span>
The game loads into the starting area for the Sugar Gobblers. It seems to be fashioned as a kid-created, cardboard bootcamp. As you only ever played one class, this was entirely new for you. Back then, if your parents knew you were playing this game, they would’ve dismantled your computer; But even though they didn’t, in your child brain being the ‘responsible’ class made it a comfortable transgression.
You take another sip of your drink. Responsibly.
<span class="mu-b">”You see candy corn, you eat it!”</span>
A young boy wearing some kind of military garb is shouting at a row of costumed children, including your character.
<span class="mu-b">”Tooty rolls, Fairy stix, all the bottom of the bag stuff will keep you ALIVE!”</span>
<span class="mu-b">”The goal’s the same! TRICKY TREATS! But while everyone else is sucking their thumbs at bed time, that sugar will be our BLOOD!”</span>
It’s fun, silly, whimsical even. The tutorial has you perform basic movement tasks under the guise of the whole boot camp thing. It’s a shame that once the tutorial ends all the NPCs here will be reduced to quest giving, cardboard cutouts.
<span class="mu-b">”ALRIGHT GOBBLERS! Get out there and make me proud!”</span>
The game loads into another scene, this time you can see someone moving erratically. You must be in the actual game world now, and that must be another player posing for the cutscene camera. You weren’t a very talkative player as a kid. You weren’t supposed to be playing the game, so on top of the whole stranger danger thing was an excitingly pacifying guilt zipping your lips.
>Disobey your parents from ten years ago and talk to the stranger
>You’re a creature of habit. Ignore and get to grinding.
>Try to message the <span class="mu-s">one friend</span> you had on here back in the day.
>Trade all your goodies from your legacy character to your new character. Screw grinding.
