It takes you a few crucial minutes to realize that no, you’re <span class="mu-i">not</span> headed in your boat’s direction. As you steer the duck through a maze of long-abandoned cargo containers, the screen reveals a vast, sandy expanse of crushed beer cans, broken glass, cigarette butts, and clusters of hypodermic needles half-buried in the silt!
My god, you hiss, you’re back at the <span class="mu-s">BEACH!</span>
https://youtu.be/QAlE9CglItIBursting forth from the sea in a shower of salty spray, you take the duck into the sky and scan the horizon for your vessel–a task made rather easy when you follow the gunfire and general mayhem. As you zero in on the yacht, you spot a faint outline below the blood-soaked waves–one resembling some kind of robotic sea urchin!
“Dat one’s <span class="mu-i">WAY</span> too close!” Ly snaps, causing you to nearly lose hold of your controller! Was he watching the whole time!?
“Yep,” Ly grunts as he merges with your body once more, “An’ you’d better hope dat’ little detour didn’t cost us a boat, kid.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPsD DFW4Is he <span class="mu-i">crazy</span>, you ask as the duck dips below the waves once more, think of all the sweet boat parties you can have once this crap is over with! You might even be able to get a <span class="mu-b">TAN!</span> Circling around to the closest grey blur underwater, you rest your button-pressing finger on top of the <span class="mu-r">BIG RED BUTTON–</span>if these jerks wanna sink your boat, they’re gonna have to take it from your cold, dead hands!
“Dat’s da’ spirit.” Grinning at your bone’s approval, you feel a chill rise up from below deck as you spot about <span class="mu-r">FIVE MERMAIDS</span> dragging a mine by its chain towards the bottom of the boat. Guess Syb’s getting to work, huh?
“Hey, look!” Blubs one of the mermaids as you approach, “A weird creature!”
“Wow!” Exclaims another as she and her friend break away from the chain, “Let’s break off its limbs and watch it try to swim~!”
Super. As the two fish girls dart towards you with speed only a fishy lower half can provide, you’re just barely able to squeeze between them by rolling to the side! Shocked at your desire to <span class="mu-i">not</span> get disassembled, the two mermaids draw their <span class="mu-g">STAVES</span> and aim them your way as you approach the three hefting the chain!
“Boy oh boy, I sure can’t wait to blow this boat up!” Remarks one of them as she watches your duck approach! “I haven’t had human liver in <span class="mu-i">AGES!</span>”
“Me either!” Gushes another! “But hold on a sec–that thing looks like trouble!”
Trouble it <span class="mu-i">IS</span>, you say with a menacing laugh, and lots of it! As the harpoon tips of the mermaid’s staves dart through the water around you, you prepare to ruin their plans… for <span class="mu-i">KEEPS</span>
<span class="mu-b">ROLL ME 1d100-5 TO GET THESE GUYS OFF THE CHAIN! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!</span>
