>>5247529Feeling the gazes pile onto you, you opt to take a risk! Dispelling your growing unease with a derisive ‘<span class="mu-i">pssh</span>’, you send a smug grin towards the turkey after taking another swig. Wow, you scoff, that’s uh… that’s pretty <span class="mu-i">LAME</span>. No wonder they haven’t killed Stan yet!
For a moment all you can hear is the soft, rhythmic sound of water lapping against the side of the boat. Hiding behind your tankard, it slowly becomes clear to you that you’ve committed sacrilege. W-
“... I mean…” Tory stammers, glancing nervously around the restaurant, “I uh… I don’t listen to him, y’know… <span class="mu-i">ALL</span> the time…”
“Y-yea!” Adds Darwin as his crocodile teeth form into a forced grin, “M-me neither!”
“Or me!” Shouts Two-Patch!
“NOR I!” Squawks the parrot!
“You guys are fucking <span class="mu-i">stupid</span>.” Mutters a mustachioed pirate from across the restaurant. “You <span class="mu-i">really</span> think you should be saying that about the b-”
The doubting Thomas and his speech are cut short by a musket ball to the skull! Slumping to the floor like a jacket falling off a chair, the skeleton’s argument is deftly thwarted thanks to the immortal power of <span class="mu-b">PEER PRESSURE!</span>
As you were <span class="mu-i">saying</span>, you continue, voice barely registering over the other buccaneers praising the shooter’s aim as he triumphantly stuffs his flintlock back into his coat, <span class="mu-r">THE MASTER’S</span> cool and all, but use your skulls: why do they think he’d feed them the wrong intel about Stan anyways?
“Because…” Thelonius grunts, looking your way for a hint.
Be<span class="mu-i">CAUSE</span>, you finish, he won’t get the credit if some <span class="mu-i">OTHER</span> dingbat kills that sexy thing, will he?
“Yea!” Mit-err, <span class="mu-i">Dinga</span> nods! “What sounds better: ‘<span class="mu-i">That pesky human was defeated by ‘THE MASTER’,</span> or <span class="mu-i">’That pesky human was defeated by ‘SOME TURKEY’</span>?”
You and Dinga clink your tankards together as the rest of the boat processes your words.
“Aye…” Frowns Nor’easter, “T’would ‘ardly be a tale worth tellin’, would it?”
“It be a mite anticlimactic, true, but everyone loves an underdog story!” Argues Two-Patch!
So there they have it, you conclude in a solemn voice, you hate to say it, fellas, but you’ve been had!
“<span class="mu-s">GOB!</span>” Tory snarls! “That is <span class="mu-i">SO CLASSIC HIM!</span>”
That’s what <span class="mu-i">you’ve</span> been saying, you shrug! So whenever he feeds you that crap, just chuck it out! Take it from me: <span class="mu-i">EXPERIENCE</span> is the best teacher!
“I’ve gotta remember that one!” Whispers Darwin to Thelonius!
“<span class="mu-b">MARROW IS TOXIC…</span>” Tory repeats, prompting the rest of the patrons to echo it as well! “Got any other juicy tips, Dingo?”
You’re just about to give him another one when you feel your nonexistent lips zip up!
“Stan…” Ly warns, “We got lucky, yea? Les’ quit while we’re ahead!”
Oh you’ll quit, alright–quit <span class="mu-i">PUSSYFOOTIN’ AROUND!</span>
>CONTD. 