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>Ok, this idiot will do.
You can make do with lard lad here. “Hey, radish mutant thing.” You stare down at him, arms folded. “Get in the wrecking ball. You’re driving me EAST.”
“What? You want me to chauffeur you, gorilla?” The plump foreman raises a brow. “Hmmm.. well.. it’s for the best that I drive the thing, but I really ‘ought to get her out to our next contract. We have a church to bulldoze to build a barcade, so..”
“I was not asking. You’re driving me EAST.” You lift him by the leaves on his head, and waggle the soft boy around. “We need to make for the MUTANT KINGDOM. You know where that is?”
“Oh, hey, the MUTANT KINGDOM, huh..? Well, I was planning on visiting during my break to pick up my MP3 player, anyway..” The foreman’s brow furrows. “Well.. I can take an early one, I guess.”
Your impressive physique seems to cow the foolish radish into acquiescing to your command, sliding himself with a huff into the chassis of the machine. “Be back in a few days, boys!” He waves them off.
You stuff yourself into the chassis of the ball right behind the boy as you tread–very, very slowly–into the desert horizon, the golden wrecking ball swinging and glimmering in the midday sun.
[...]
Your trek bears your EAST, the ride slow and arduous and not at all helped by the dumbass lard you’ve ordered to drive you out.
“So.. you got a name, GORILLA?” The foreman glances back to you. “My name’s LUB MOOLI. You know, like MOOLI CONSTRUCTION. See, I’m not actually the owner, though. That’d be my oldest brother, COLERIDGE MOOLI III. He got me a job out here after my jeep tour business–”
“I do not care. The last one didn’t talk so much..” You fold your arms and recline into your seat, head laid against the glass of the machine as you do your best to ease your nerves.. at least, until something falls into your eyeline. “..Hey. LUB. Stop here.”
You lean out the window. An immense TANK sits outside of the machine, sitting close to the outskirts of PARABELLUM. Is it empty?
>Shout at it.
>Step outside. Perhaps you’ve just found yourself a better ride.
>Order LUB to go look at it.
>[Write-In.]
