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If you learned one thing about dealing with kids it’s that they love magic! This is the wholesome return of Johnnykazam! Philonune wonders if that nickname was ever a thing as he pulls out his top hat for the performance. Philonune is so silly, it has always been a thing just like your renowned catchphrase <span class="mu-i">‘What’s Good? ™’</span>. You ponder for a second what you were about to do, now you recall, it’s time for the performance of the millennium!
“I’m not a regular. In fact, I’m quite the opposite in a sense...”
“Like a bum?” Boring kid wonders.
“Look, kid. I’ll never be a hobo, end of story. Now be nice and let me finish.” You take this too personally for no good reason. “Ehem, I’m actually a <span class="mu-s">magic man</span>!”
“You mean a <span class="mu-i">magician</span>?” Baseball cap kid wants to get excited but he’s too petty to let that slide.
“That’s what I said.” You didn’t say that, but fuck it.
“You didn’t say that.” Baseball cap kid stands his ground.
“Yeah, I didn’t say that…” You look down, ashamed. When did lying become something you do? “Anyway, can I finish please?”
“Just because you were nice before…” Baseball cap kid really appreciated that even if you’re a stinky regular.
“Let me show you…” You roll up your non-existent sleeves. Time to make these kids float!
You invoke Philonune and—
“<span class="mu-s">G-GAH…!!!</span>” Baseball cap kid loses his footing and drops to his bum – he’s scared shitless.
…you put him away. He was here for half a second. Uh-oh…
“W-What happened?” Boring kid asks his partner in sand vandalism.
Words don’t come out of the kid with a hat. He’s whiter than snow!
<span class="mu-s">What do you do?</span>
>“What? Did you see a ghost or something?” Pretend you don’t understand what happened.
>“You all right?” Be concerned about his well-being.
>“You saw him? You aren’t supposed to see him…” Learn more! What did he see?!
>Fuck it, scare them both out of the castle.
>Write In.