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“Stan. Staaaaan.” Eddie repeats, waving his hand in front of your twitching eyes, “Anybody home?”
“You’d better say something <span class="mu-i">quick</span> or I’m carryin’ ya.” Talbot warns, unaware of the fierce mental battle being waged within your psyche!
You… you’ve figured it out, you mutter, prompting your friend’s faces to light up excitedly! You’re… you’re having a <span class="mu-i">breakthrough</span> here…
“G-go on!” Eddie nods with an encouraging tone of voice! “What is it, Stan?”
Well… that time with the <span class="mu-r">SERIAL KILLER?</span> When you and Syb went into that basement?
“Yea?”
Well…
“Y-yea?”
That <span class="mu-i">totally</span> wasn’t a <span class="mu-i">REAL</span> sewer, so it didn’t count–turns out you’re still abso-friggin-lutely terrified of sewers and the <span class="mu-r">MUTANTS</span> within!
Returning to near-catatonia, Eddie shares a disappointed look with Talbot and Kiki. “S-so wait… that wasn’t really a breakthrough at all, Stan.”
“It <span class="mu-i">kinda</span> was…” Talbot shrugs as he idly sticks a finger in his ear. “Not, like, a <span class="mu-i">good</span> one, though.”
“No…” Eddie sighs with disapproval in his voice, “No, it really wasn’t.”
<span class="mu-r">MORALE -1!</span>
Staggering from <span class="mu-i">yet</span> another <span class="mu-r">MORALE LOSS,</span> your needlessly-dramatic gesture turns near-fatal when a nearby drainage pipe <span class="mu-i">GUSHES</span> with fresh waste next to you! Filling the tunnel with an uncharacteristically-girly <span class="mu-s">SQUEAL,</span> you stumble backwards off the maintenance catwalk and (thankfully) onto a longboard-sized hunk of plastic bobbing in the river of filth!
Swaying erratically as you struggle to stay balanced, your companions watch with varying mixtures of concern and second-hand embarrassment as your sewer board takes you along on the next exciting leg of its journey:
<span class="mu-r">DOWN THE CANAL!</span>
Picking up speed on the sludge-coated slope, you surf for dear life as the maintenance catwalk disappears above you and the service lights get dimmer and dimmer! Hold on, Ly, it’s gonna get choppy!
“Damn you, Stan. If we die because you were scared of friggin’ <span class="mu-i">mutants</span> I’m gonna <span class="mu-i">kill</span> ya.”
<span class="mu-b">ROLL ME 1d100-5 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, +5 FENCER’S FEMURS, -20 S-S-SEWER MUTANTS!!!) I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!</span>
