>>5659494Despite such a long ride, he mostly remained unconscious, occasionally able to listen to what she had to say for a few sentences before passing out again.
〈Hey handsome.〉
Hearing those words were quite amusing. Her voice sounds exactly like those old food vendors.
〈.. let you die now, can I?〉
Apparently she saved him because he called the boat beautiful. Her somber expression tells a different story.
〈.. have a good head on your shoulders.〉
.. it’s strangely comforting. Sira doesn’t even know why he buried this memory for so long. Maybe he didn’t want to confront it, out of shame? Out of guilt? Out of regret? Out of fear?
The reason doesn’t matter now.
Years of hurting people can never be erased, he knows that well, but his actions during these past months are a step in the right direction.
>subdued the thieves at Old Whaler>de escalated the preta encounterHe held back.
>struck a deal with the peach plantation bandits>negotiated with the vigilantesHe used violence only when necessary.
>didn’t hurt the mob of civilians outside the Moonlight Grace brothel >didn’t hurt laborers in the academyHe tried his best to not get civilians involved.
These aspects of his past will always be a part of him. He doesn’t want to run away from it anymore. He doesn’t want to cling onto his old days and neglect the current ones anymore.
During these upcoming months, Sira knows that..
>His darker thoughts can be controlledEven with medications and advice from medical professionals, his inner darker thoughts will continue to be with him. Those spirits merely made it more apparent. Much like his past, he can never truly get rid of it — however, he can incorporate it in more constructive ways.
>It won’t get easierIt takes consistent effort and deliberation to do everything he did. He chose the more perilous path not because of some obligation or a reward, but because he wants to. Because he has the capacity to.
>[Option unavailable — Sira didn’t indulge in his darker desires]penultimate option of this thread. 