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Last time… Last time was a mess, you thought you’d be relaxing after successfully crashing the wedding, but it was anything but that! The thrills of life don’t care about comfy times, and as the Great Patriarch of Coziness, this deeply upsets you. But all hijinks are over and done, you’re truly winding down in your hostel room with the couple of girls you shared the Mobile Home with: Wilma and Matilda, the renowned Wilmatilda duo.
Anyway, drinks were had, beds were put together, and ramblings began, leaving you in your current situation. Your friendly neighborhood greedy girl <span class="mu-s">demands</span> you compare her chest size with the Tomato’s, claiming that her own are not as pronounced as her friend’s. This whole tirade started because Matilda doesn’t believe you should say she has big boobs. Or something, she’s drunk. Okay, maybe not drunk, but she is drinking. Wilma is naturally turning into a tomato at the request.
“I said <span class="mu-s">compare them</span>.” Matilda demands her hypothesis be confirmed.
“...W-Why are we doing this?” Wilma doesn’t understand.
“I’m setting the record straight.” Matilda says, annoyed this is even a question. “No more doubts. No more opinions. Just cold hard facts.”
“T-That doesn’t answer my question. But if it makes you happy...” Wilma doesn’t want to deal with a violent drunk.
“And you want me to judge them?” You? The silly man? You don’t know if Matilda is serious.
“Yes. Who else?” Matilda crosses her arms.
“Uhm… but you know it’s <span class="mu-i">me</span>?” You point at your face.
“Do I look like I’m joking around?” Matilda never looks like she’s joking, but she sometimes throws a bomb or two, so you <span class="mu-i">can’t</span> be sure.
<span class="mu-s">How do you respond?</span>
>“What do you want me to do exactly? We don’t have a measuring tape.” You don’t think so anyway.
>“You look drunk...” Calm down the Matilda, move her away from bad ideas.
>“Are you sure you want me to do this? No backsies later.” You’re a professional and you’ll act like one.
>Write In.
