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Riding the Bone Beastie is very uncomfy: it has spikes all along the back, and where it's not spikes, they snap off after a bit and <span class="mu-i">become</span> spikes. You have to watch your jumblies a lot while riding, or they might get caught in the joints or poked by the spikes. You don't need this kindy risk when you're jobbing.
So you take up residence in the rib cage instead, stringing ropes in a web through the shoulder blades and spines to spread your weight, so you can hang across them like a hammock.
Pad the ribs with some foliage and things, keeping a gap open in the breast for you to peek fru, and no one will even see YOU, just the Bone Beastie galloping at them.
Apart from its crumblyness, you discover another drawback to the Bone Beastie: it's real dumm, even worse than the Dimmies.
The Dimmies need simple words in short sentences and supervision, but at least they <span class="mu-g">get</span> what you're trying to make them do. <span class="mu-i">This</span> bonepile understands single <span class="mu-i">words</span>, three at most, and not more than two syllables each. If you tried to use it in a raid or sumn - forget war, this ride will last a week tops, assuming no one fights - you'd become the biggest and ironically easiest target.
Whatever.
You send Moar Oww to watch the road going out of the Dedder Dump while you watch the road going out of Mains.
You camp further down, so's only the last house of the Skirts infrunnada Plague Town entrance has any peeksies at all at you.
Then you have breakfast: a few lumpy shredds of rabbit you've saved, and a fatty old frogg wivva stikk fru da bum, toasted over a candle. Not too bad, as breakfasts go. At least it's meat, and kindy freshy, thanks to the Pouch.
To stay awake you roll ciggies wiv Sordyfagg's baccy leaf and hymnal paper (you're saving Stumpy's baccy until you have some real peace and quiet to enjoy it) while chewing some baccy toffee.
You're still tired, but the work and the toffee kindy takes the edge orf.
When sun's nearly full up (~10+AM), you hear a galloping coming down the road. You pack up your rollies and stuffs and get into your driver's hammock.
As you watch its approach, even YOU can twigg the rider's making the horse go too fast. The nearest settlement is at least 20sumn days on foot(3mphx12hrsx20= 720++miles); that's still two and a half days at a gallop (720÷25mph÷12hrs). There's just no way the horse can make it if he makes it go top speed right out, even if YOU hadn't dosed the stables with Dedder Dust.
Whoever's riding isn't thinking.
>ahh.
>they sent a Humie wots not full grown yet
>jezt a grubling wiv poobz
>'course he carnt fink
>not even the dum Humie kindy dum fink
You wait until he passes you, jezt so he can't just wheel back, then set course.
"<span class="mu-g">Roit bonebrain. After 'em</span>"
The geld is already panting when yerz Bone Beastie kicks orf; the rider takes one look back at the arythmic batter of eight mismatched hooves and legs, and screams his dummy head orf.
