"No, I'm good. Honest. Don't worry about it." Stephanie smiled. "Anyway-- You needed help with, uh... a 'thing' earlier, and Priscilla wasn't good enough, apparently?"
"Well, there's no way I was telling Priscilla about that. Plus, I kinda feel like an asshole now for even thinking about it. You know, considering everything..." Tiffany whispered, nodding in Audrey's direction.
"What was it...?"
"Um... I sorta kinda maybe wanted to ask you to keep Audrey busy while I talked to Spencer..."
"Tiff..."
"I know, I know... It's just-- This is my last chance. Spencer's the only guy who's ever shown any interest in me at all, and I... I don't wanna die alone, Steph..."
"What the-- What?! What are you even talking about, Tiff? You're smart, you're cute, you're gonna be just fine! Jeez..."
"You really think so...?"
"I know so. Just, stop trying to force things. If it happens, it happens. If not, hey, you've still got your whole life ahead of you."
"Thanks... You always know what to say, don't you?"
"Don't mention it. Besides, a little birdie told me you might have another fan." Stephanie winked.
"Shut. Up. Who?!"
"Sorry, some of us know how to keep a secret."
"Dude, not fair! Just tell me, already!"
"Ask me again and you're walking home. That's a promise. Now, let's go find the girls. Audrey probably needs all the friends she can get right now."
"This is called psychological torture, you know, and it's illegal. Pretty sure it's banned by the Geneva Convention *and* the UN!"
"You should be banned by the Geneva Convention and the UN."
Out in the back yard, a size 23 work boot was crushing the cat's head into the grass with a soft crunch...
-----
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-RVJyNpfDkWhen Steph and Tiff got back to the living room, they found the girls trying to cheer up Audrey; Amber was singing the school's anthem, accompanied by the most exquisite of instruments: Priscilla's armpit farts.
"As I cut down life's knots with grace~~"
*PRRRRRTT!*
"I know I'm staying sharp until I die~~"
*PLORRRPF!*
"No one shall ever take my place~~"
*BLARRRPP!*
"Cause I was forged in regal North Falls High~~"
*PBBTHPRF!*
By all accounts, it was working. Audrey was laughing her ass off.
"Ahahaha, classic! You guys... thanks. I needed that."
"But wait, there's more!" Priscilla exclaimed. "Allow me to introduce you to my friends Jack, Jose and Johnny" she pulled three bottles seemingly out of thin air and placed them on the coffee table.
"Wait, where did you get those?" Amber asked.
"Your dad's liquor cabinet?"
"Like, how? It's locked."
"*Was* locked." Priscilla winked, pulling a hairpin out of her baseball cap.
"Aces! Gimme-gimme!"
