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It’s no use…. Try as you might to fight it, the combined forces of grease and Stan culminate in a wave of heat rushing over you! Feeling the sweat drip from your hair, you decide to take <span class="mu-i">JURASSIC MEASURES!</span> Reaching for the first few tan buttons holding your <span class="mu-g">DRESS SHIRT</span> on, you unbutton them in one swift movement!
Like a water tower being dumped onto your head, you bask in the cold night air as it washes over the top of your bare, toned chest! Taking an exultant breath of that sweet, sweet, chilly air, your brief respite is cut short when you notice Stan’s reaction!
Halfway through a <span class="mu-g">CORN DOG</span> wrapped in <span class="mu-g">CHOCOLATE-COVERED BACON,</span> the poor girl’s food drops out of her mouth and onto the pier as she stares agape at you with sweat pouring down her beet-red face!
S-sorry, you stammer as you fight the urge to follow the beads of sweat down to her torso, you uh… man, it’s HOT, huh!?
“Y-y-y-<span class="mu-i">mHM</span>!” Stutters Stan as she cools herself off by downing a full pint of beer! Alright, you were only gonna keep your shirt open for, like, a second, but seeing that reaction outta’ her?
You think you’ll keep it open. <span class="mu-i">CHECKED MAID,</span> Stan! Tryin’ to distract you and all… Leaning back in your seat until you remember it’s a bench, a certain crispness to the air makes you feel like you’ve started down another path here…
… and who the hell knows where it’s gonna end tonight!
<span class="mu-r">+CHAOS!</span>
Still marveling at your exposed skin, Stan remains borderline catatonic as you continue to eat. It’s kinda nice, you think to yourself as you toss some <span class="mu-g">FUNNEL CAKE</span> into your mouth, but now <span class="mu-i">you’re</span> starting to feel self-conscious!
… does this mean you have an excuse to stare too? AWESOME!
On second thought, past experiences say probably not–girls are unfair like that and you’d <span class="mu-i">REALLY</span> prefer not to ruin your chances here, so…
>CONTD.
