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What does he <span class="mu-i">mean?</span> Is he that wary of you? You thought he bought your explanation— which was true, so he better have— and he didn't seem all too frightened then. His tone is benign, even pleasant. So it's a test of some kind? A rhetorical trap? God, you despise these. Some nerve Monty has to spring one on you when <span class="mu-i">he's</span> on the back foot, or ought to be! How rude! You should kill him for this, just kidding, just kidding. Just kidding. You shouldn't kid about that. Just because the red stuff's been quiet doesn't mean it's <span class="mu-i">gone.</span>
"You don't think I deserve it?"
Monty's smile is tight-cornered, his gaze unswerving. Definitely a trap. (It was nice of Richard to sensitize you to such things.) But what is it baited for, exactly? Is this a loyalty-test thing, and you're supposed to say you'd never ever ever hate or kill Monty, and of course he doesn't deserve it at all, and you're really sorry for bringing this up? But he's not controlling like that, or you never got the impression he was. Even with the scary stuff. A tight-ass, yes, but Madrigal's his second-in-command, and she's not exactly a sycophant...
Really, the way he's phrasing it, it's like he's angling for you to agree. To say you hate him, and stuff. But that's—
But—
That's what it is, isn't it? That's what it has to be. He would like you to hate him. He would like to be <span class="mu-i">hated.</span> He sat through your entire tirade waiting for the H-word and when it never came he started trying to pry it out of you. He's probably sitting there in his stupid nice chair clawing at his insides <span class="mu-i">right now</span> because you haven't indicated enough dislike yet. Or a proportional level of dislike, he probably thinks it is. How sad is that? That he can't be satisfied with plain old stupid and rotten? He wants you to want to kill him. To <span class="mu-i">kill</span> him. He thinks he's done something worth being killed over? He didn't even steal the damn Crown himself, or even know it was run off with. Stupid, yes. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It's not like you respect him any for this. But to want to kill—?
It's just sad. It is. You can't even properly call it 'negative thinking,' because even known negative thinkers don't think they're owed <span class="mu-i">death.</span> Maybe it's whatever's way beyond negative thinking. A wasteland, or a big pit of black goop, or Hell. Or the Edge, where you look over and nothing's there, and if you fall off you fall faster and faster forever. Maybe one of those. It's not like you can really ask about it.
Anyways, you definitely can't say you hate him now. He doesn't win a prized spot as a sworn nemesis by <span class="mu-i">asking</span> for it, that's— that's what the opposite of a nemesis would do! Nemeses are shameless! Monty is shameful, to a frankly embarrassing degree, and that seals it. "It doesn't <span class="mu-i">matter</span> if you deserve it. I don't know why I'd kill you, so I'm not even going to talk about that. And no, I don't think I will hate you. Ha."
(2/4)