>>5165920“<span class="mu-i">A-and th-that’s when the fire ignited THAT puddle…</span>”
You would have fallen asleep by now if Stanley’s claws hadn’t been digging into your tummy. How does she do it, you think to yourself. How does this dweeb make a <span class="mu-r">LAB ACCIDENT</span> boring?!
“<span class="mu-i">W-well i-it wasn’t boring at th-the time…</span>” Denise mutters as she points a shaky finger in your face. Shit, did you think out loud again?
“Yep,” Ly grunts, “An’ yer’ doin’ it now too, so shaddup.”
Okay, you groan, can she just get to the part with Talbot already? Feels like this update has just been people talking <span class="mu-i">at</span> you, even with that chilling <span class="mu-r">BAT FIGHT</span> in the middle!
“<span class="mu-i">Of co-course! S-so there I was: trapped amidst a burning, f-fizzing, hissing cocktail of a-all the chemicals our l-labs had been working with for th-the past few months–e-each breath becoming m-more difficult than the last…</span>” The scientist pantomimes a raging inferno with her hands to spice things up a little–it doesn’t work. “<span class="mu-i">B-but I knew I w-was trapped…</span>”
You get used to it, you interrupt as you puff out your chest! You cross paths with Death so much you might as well be <span class="mu-i">dating</span> by now!
“<span class="mu-i">W-wow…</span>” Denise whispers in awe. “<span class="mu-i">W-well then you probably know what I’m talking about: I w-was just starting to feel f-faint w-when IT HAPPENED!</span>”
Let me guess, you sigh, she tripped over her socks or something.
“<span class="mu-i">C-CORRECT!</span>”
God<span class="mu-s">DAMN</span> it-
“<span class="mu-i">J-just k-kidding!</span>” Says the scientist with an eerie giggle! “<span class="mu-i">N-no, s-silly… HE ARRIVED!</span>” Jabbing her finger skyward, you can’t help but follow it–d-does she mean?
“<span class="mu-i">PRECISELY!</span>” Denise nods! “<span class="mu-i">D-down fr-from the heavens came TALBOT l-like an AVENGING ANGEL OF CLEANING! B-before I knew what was happening, he had burst fr-from the air ducts w-with an arsenal of cleaning supplies: SPRAYS, SOAPS, CLEANING GRENADES! H-he even descended using s-some kind of BACK-MOUNTED VACUUM DEVICE!</span>”
Shiiiit, you groan, you miss your trusty ole’ <span class="mu-g">BACKUUM 2000!</span> Whatever happened to that thing, anyways?
“We ain’t gettin’ an answer from her, kiddo…” Reply your bones as the scientist continues to gush over Talbot’s entrance.
“H-he was like a TORNADO, STAN! <span class="mu-i">A-and b-before I knew it, e-EVERYTHING was coated! A-and the fires stopped, too!</span>”
Yea, you nod, clearly unimpressed, you would have done the same thing… so he saved the day, huh?
“<span class="mu-i">Well, not exactly…</span>” The scientist says with a nervous smile. “<span class="mu-i">H-his liberal use of cleaning pr-products on volatile chemicals a-actually created deadly g-gas, but somewhere during his rampage he managed to trigger the EMERGENCY VENT SWITCH on the opposite side of the lab, so…</span>” Punctuating her story with a shrug, all you can do is frown. Some story! She didn’t even do a flashback!
“<span class="mu-i">I-I can try…</span>”
NAH!
>CONTD. 