Listen, let's just --- take a minute here and breathe. I am a rational person in a rational world with a perfectly adequate amount of alcohol to fortify myself against the accidents of avarice.
Just . . . Oh it does tricks. What kind of tricks. No, dismemberment is not a party-trick. Oh does it spin when you rub its belly? You don't mean purr like a cat you mean haha yes indeed spin, uhuh. Run that last part by me again - sorry - no, repeat. It does <span class="mu-s">what</span> to birds? How does it -- at that distance? Right, compound eye compensation for light refraction, ha ha, very droll. Shooting eagles out of the sky is not a party trick what else does it do.
oh I bet it gives <span class="mu-i">great</span> hugs. No I somehow knew you were going to follow up with it being hard to get it to let go once it's started. How did I know that? Benefit of long experience.
Okay so just... Get me a cage for storing it innnnnnnn no? No really? Just... Just eats through the bars, huh. No no I'm fine, thanks for asking, my face just gets like this sometimes when I'm screaming on the inside, don't worry about it.
And it glows at night? I mean that sounds biologically improbable at best. Function as a reading lamp? Ha ha ha ha <span class="mu-i">yes</span> I bet it does great, warm, fuzzy, and I'm never sleeping anyway so the light provision is a bonus. Oh it normally glows to lure in prey species. Yes, I am curious why you specified "species" but I'm going to bet the next words out of your mouth is omnivore-- HAH. KNEW IT. Okay what final horror show is this lay it on me come on, come on, say it, say it I can take it-- They /what/. No. You are officially making a joke Sir. There is <span class="mu-s">no way</span> this genus is related to squids and I refuse to countenance the notion that this thing will develop chromatophores. Oh it already has. No, no, I'm fine with the notion of invisible quiet apex predators lurking around on my ship excuuuuseeeee me just one moment while I talk to my associate
>>5624940Listen: Fulton.
You're walking this thing three times a day and so help me Icons if you forget to feed it I am going to skip <span class="mu-i">right</span> through shock, surprise, sarcasm, sulking, sadness and serious and I am going to become <span class="mu-i">Ironic</span> and I will tell you these words true and in confidence with the fact that you are a man of the world:
Not one soul has ever truly appreciated my ironic sense of humour and <span class="mu-s">neither will you</span>.
Ahem.
>>5624936We're taking it.
{Malichnid, Immature}
"Cuddles"
Web 4 | Venom 2
. . . Likely many other interesting biological facets presently unknown.
