Quoted By:
>First rule of improv
Alright! So this is stupid. It's actually maybe the stupidest thing you've been party to in... shit, you don't know. Months? The premise is stupid, the execution is dogshit stupid, the whole thing is— you said it. It's stupid. It's comical. But that's not a bad thing for you, is it? If some fucked-up goo-man wants to use you to advance his toddler schemes, if those schemes <span class="mu-i">happen</span> involve busting into somewhere you shouldn't... is that your fault, really? Can Pat really blame this shit on you? You were tricked. <span class="mu-i">Manipulated.</span> And it's not like she warned you about this.
"Damn!" you say. "That's pretty shit of her, isn't it? To not leave any food around for you? What does she expect you to do, <span class="mu-i">starve?</span>"
"i donT EaT LESTER Food," Lester Six garbles, offended. "iTS noT FiT FoR <span class="mu-i">human</span> conSumpTion,"
"O-oh." You blink. "Well, yeah. I was just fucking with you, you know. It's still shit for her not to leave any for the... fake Lesters? I know they're fake, but they gotta eat too. Who feeds them, usually?"
"ThERES choRE RoTaTion,,"
That doesn't answer the question, but alright. Neat. You don't feel like taking big swings before you've figured out what he really wants. "Smart. Smart. So where does Pat usually keep the Lester Food? I bet we can swing right by and grab an extra—"
"and Fix Fix Fix Fix pipES...pipES aRE inFEcTEd,"
You pause. "Infected?"
"i mEan brokEn,, in RoomS, kiLL Two biRdS... ?"
He's getting less coherent. You clasp your hands together until your knuckles (wait, you have knuckles now?) whiten. "Okay, so we can fix the pipes? It can't be that hard. I haven't seen any broken ones yet, but—"
"noT nicE FoR guESTS... ESpEciaLLy bEauTiFuL LadiES..."
You'll be out of here soon. Real soon. "Makes sense. It's kind of a shithole in here too, isn't it, and wasn't this door locked? Probably just let me into the— uh, the lady-appropriate areas. So where's all this?"
"in ThE nExT Room,,"
"Oh, shit, really?" Easy enough. "So we really can just pop in, pop out—"
You can't. The adjoining door (labeled just "STORAGE," no Lester) is incredibly, thoroughly stuck, no matter how hard Lester Six turns the key— and from the way he keeps glancing at you, you're pretty sure he already knew about this. When you give it a shot, you determine that 1) you have zero upper body strength and 2) something is definitely holding it closed from the inside.
You hate it, but this is intriguing. Taking a wobbly step back, you squint at the door, trying to maybe catch something you missed. The handle is kind of sticky, but that's probably just Lester Six (...or you) oozing all over it. There's a sliver of a crack underneath it, not enough to peek through, but maybe enough for something very, very liquid to slide under. And it's familiar. It strikes you as familiar. Why? You've been in the vat room, the curing room, the lobby, the gift shop (sort of), Lester Storage— never here. Unless you've been sleepwalking, or...
