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Rolled 3, 9, 12, 12, 7, 8, 8, 7, 8, 8, 7, 8, 10, 2, 1 + 30 = 140 (15d12 + 30)
~~FILLER POST~~
Out of the whole lot of likely lads you pick three musky turds to hench for you: DirtyNuggz, Uptush, and Pork Hos.
They're all older than YOU, just a few years short of filling out full Orky; living this long means they're a good mix of kunnen n brütey.
On your order they pick out the hearts and livers from the dedders, and collect most of the dropped kludgeware out of the thieving hands of the smaller Gobbz.
You let them have dibbz on the uvva nice bits: kidneys, eyes, brains, hands. They'll need it to grow up bully n killy.
Your next order is for them to make you a new suit of Quality Kludge Armor out of all the dropped bits, and same for themselves. They get to keep half of the unused balance Stuffs split between them, but YOUr Quality Kludge Armor better be the qualitest.
Pork Hos, the meatiest, you tell to make dinner: helmet stoo, being meatz n bitz boiled with bludd in a helmet unwashed hung over a fire until it's a curdy soup. With all the helmets on hand he makes six servings at once.
You laze about watching them work, binding your open wounds with the dedders' tuckeroos; you talk to your new Droogz, working out the local chatty from common Gobby base-concepts.
When Pork Hos is done making dinner, you send him to dig a hole half as tall as he is, one and half long and wide as he is.
He gets to it with a scowl, but fugg 'em: digging's easier than kludging good armor. He's just salty he didn't get off cheap from just making dinner like he thought.
Over dinner, to the sound of Pork Hos grunting n digging, you get to asking how the Orc settlement(s) is arranged, the important places and Bossers.
There's a few Big Hats to watch for:
Kuggbal Tortu, OverBoss Chief they look uncomfortable; Dulugtangor, Shaman-Chief; Kurruk n Kertuk, Wolf Masturz and Rider Chiefs; Boog, Orbagai, Xag Xag, Piggbolg, Warlords.
And Jinx Finx, a weirdo. He was part of the horde as early as they can remember, and they've heard that he used to lead the Skulkers out on forays. The weird is, he's not around often, doesn't bring Stuffs to the OverBoss when he does show up, yet Kuggbal hasn't ordered him made into an interesting shape.
Word is Jinx Finx has a special knack of entering deep into the lands of the Weak Races and coming out again without raising SUS, bringing information for the Bigg Plan.
No one knows what the Bigg Plan is, very shush-shush Pork Hos just finished the diggy hole, starts cooking a new glop of helmet stoo because someone (YOU) ate his share, so mostly they just fight n tuff-up n kludge-up waiting for Da Word.
You drag your half of the leftover meat n kludge Stuffs into the hole with you, then park Wagon plonk over the top, closing it off.
It's going to be stuffy for tonight, but at least no one sees Pouchy or hears you Ceremonying.
You have a big day tomorrow.
>QM rollan Stuffs
