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Sitting back down at your desk, you slowly turn Daniel's offer over in your mind once more. Maybe you're being influenced by Jan's softness, but the thought of sitting across from the young soldier and eating a civilised meal with him turns your stomach. No matter how friendly he is, or tries to be, the distance between the two of you is just too vast. Sometimes, being with him is like trying to stare into the sun.
You consider joining up with Jan instead, although the thought of seeking a bit of spiritual healing brings a sneer to your lips. The Godhead certainly doesn't seem to have much in the way of good fortune set aside for you, and you hardly think a few prayers are going to change that. You wince, then, as you realise just how much you sound like your father. You can practically hear one of his bitter rants now.
That's what makes up your mind, the change of plans so sudden that it nearly leaves you light-headed. Checking the last of your clothing for any bloodstains you might have missed before, you quickly make your way towards the chapel.
-
It's quiet here, as you might expect from the late hour. Jan is the only one here, pacing slowly from one end of the room to another. Occasionally he stops at one of the seven statues that line the far wall, gazing up at them in silent awe. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the statue of Insight, the Emanation long associated with your family. The statue is far grander than any of the icons you had back home, the marble figure carved with meticulous care.
“The artistry is good, of course, but I never quite understood the style,” you announce, your echoing voice nearly causing Jan to faint, “They just look like people. They hardly inspire awe.”
“Isambard, keep your voice down!” Jan hisses, hurriedly adjusting his glasses, “They're supposed to be, um, relatable. The Emanations are-”
“The Emanations are the bridge between man and the Godhead,” you finish for him, “Who is so vast and grand that man cannot HOPE to comprehend Him.”
Jan frowns at you for a long moment. “Isambard,” he says slowly, “Are you mocking me?”
“Of course I am,” you assure him, “But it's nothing personal. I'll mock anyone.”
“Well, maybe you shouldn't,” the young man says with a pout, “Anyway, why are you here?”
You don't answer that question straight away, instead moving to the central statue – the Godhead itself. Here, the attempt at being “relatable” is discarded completely. The Godhead is depicted as a great featureless monolith, impassive and imposing. A man could spend his whole life praying at an altar like this, and it wouldn't change a thing.
“I thought I'd check up on you,” you tell Jan at last, “I do hope you're not too shaken up after tonight.”
“...Very good,” Jan says with a shaky laugh, “You actually sounded concerned there.”
“I've been practising.”
[1/2]
