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That night you sleep soundly, your demons exorcised on your sister. When you wake up, the morning sun spills in through the curtains across you and Candi in bed together. You look over at her. Her hair is disheveled, makeup streaked by tears. The outfit she had on last night is long gone. Probably unsalvageable. Oh well.
You roll out of bed and start to dress.
"Mmm," Candi stirs.
"Morning."
She gropes blindly with an arm until her fingers brush your scarred back. "Eckfas."
"Coffee?" you ask.
"Mmmm."
"Sure." Really it's the least you can do after last night. You button your jeans and go downstairs barefoot.
Mom is on the couch watching TV and smoking a blunt. She looks at you with hazy red eyes. You see now she wears a heavy crucifix around her neck. She looks…like hell. You imagine she heard everything last night unless she was passed out. Oh well.
You ignore her and she ignores you. Once in the kitchen you start a pot of coffee. Unlike Candi you follow the directions on the can to the letter. While that brews you put on a burner and fry a handful of eggs with some margarine. They're just about done when Candi comes in in her pajamas looking exhausted.
"I'm surprised you're walking straight," you say casually as you serve breakfast.
"Shut up," she says. "Ugh. I'm so tired."
You set a coffee mug in front of her and then serve yourself. The coffee is okay, the eggs are okay. You look up at Candi. "You okay?"
"Mmm."
She's okay too. She sips wearily and squints out the kitchen window. "You going to apply at the mill today?"
"Yeah."
She nods. "Good luck. Try not scare anyone."
You put a terrifying forced smile on your face and she snorts.
"Yeah. Perfect. When you're in town, go ahead and drop this off at the bank." She pulls that thick cash envelope out of her pocket and slides it to you.
"What's this?"
"Our mortgage payment. What else?" Candi says with fatal resignation.
"Mortgage?"
She's awake enough now to give you a nonplussed look. "Yeah, you didn't think Dad owned this place in the clear did you?"
You stare bare, confused. "What are you talking about? A thirty year mortgage? This was Grandpa's farm. How the fuck do we still owe money on it?"
Candi sighs, annoyed at having to explain ancient family history to you. "Grandpa was in debt up to his eyeballs when he died. All this dairy farm shit and whatever. Giant money hole. Dad inherited that debt and now it's on us." She pauses. "Or on me, I guess."
You shake your head. "No, us. Not just you. It's my home too."
She gives you a small, tired smile. One that says "Thanks but we'll see." You guess you deserve the skepticism. She hides the expression the moment you notice it behind a careful mask of nonchalance. "Let me know how it goes with the bank. I'm going to be taking it easy today," she says.
Understandable. "Sure."
