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You don't have any response, much less a sarcastic one. Mr. Suit's passion is palpable. He's really, really compelling.
"And, you know, my workers— they share my passion, too. That's why our retention rate is so high, Roscoe. Do you ever see Headspace quitters? Never. You never see them. Because we only hire the best, and we only hire people who pour their true selves into every single thing they do. And you know what, Roscoe, I think they've topped themselves. Can't even take credit for this one. Now, you were a vendor for your last model, weren't you?"
Were you? You thought you turned them down. Now you're less sure. "Uhh..."
"You of course recall our E.Z.-M.A.N.S.E.— a massive innovation in M.A.N.S.E. technology, bringing our Headspace into Yours™, which introduced our Wonderifous Real+ technology to thousands of excited customers. Well, Roscoe, I have the pleasure of presenting to you an <span class="mu-i">advanced order</span> of our latest innovation. The full rollout is just days away, but I wanted you—" He slaps the counter. "—to get in early. Because you're a neighbor. Because you're one of our best and most valued vendors. Are you with me?"
He's just saying words to you now. But god, what words. The same colors as his sunglasses. "Y— yeah."
"<span class="mu-i">That's</span> what I love to hear. Now, proudly presenting..." He drums on the with two fingers. You join in after a moment. "..the Super-M.A.N.S.E.!"
A dim part of you suggests that this is a stupid name, and the thing he is showing you is a stupid product. It's hardly anything: just a clamshell package with a metallic capsule inside. Too many colors. The woman on the package promoting it has a tacky crown (because of the castle illustration?) and grin. You can't bring yourself to voice any of this. "Wow."
"Now, I don't want to spoil the surprise for you too much, Roscoe. In fact, I recommend not cracking one open until the proper release. All I'll say is that you should imagine the E.Z.-M.A.N.S.E.— and now imagine it ten times quicker, more convenient, more full of wonder and possibility. A hundred times. The best part is, it works <span class="mu-i">even if</span> you have the E.Z.-M.A.N.S.E. already installed. Call it a free upgrade! Yes, still free. Because we care, Roscoe." Mr. Suit slaps the Super-M.A.N.S.E. package down on the counter, and you forget your criticisms. "You're welcome to charge a nominal sum, but we'd prefer if you gave it out free, too. In fact, we'll pay <span class="mu-i">you</span> to compensate for the lost shelf space. You win, we win, your customer wins, the entire damn world wins. What do you say?"
He offers his hand. You shake it without hesitation.
(3/4)
