>>5131611You’re about to melt on the pavement when you spot a flash of movement behind the alien–it’s <span class="mu-r">BORIS!</span> Offering you a hand, the alien is too preoccupied to notice your immortal foe about to deliver a haymaker to the back of his perfectly-sculpted locks! Before you can warn him, however, Professor Gamugo waves his hand in the air, causing his spacecraft’s beam to recenter itself on his would-be attacker!
“Wh-wh-wha?!” Boris mutters, trying and failing to move! “L-let me go! H-h-<span class="mu-s">HOLDING! FIVE-YARD PENALTY!</span>”
Continuing to stare deeply into your now saucer-sized eyes, your rescuer flicks his hand upwards, sending your co-worker drifting towards the ship! Flailing in vain, Boris shrieks like a schoolgirl as each and every one of his hairs slowly disintegrate in the beam! As your foe disappears screaming into the spaceship’s tractor beam, the ship’s owner helps you to your feet before kneeling in front of you!
“<span class="mu-s">STAN-CHAN,</span>” He begins, his white officer’s garb fluttering majestically in a cherry blossom-choked breeze, “<span class="mu-s">I’VE SEARCHED FAR AND WIDE FOR THE ULTIMATE VIDEO GAME… BUT WHAT I’VE REALLY BEEN LOOKING FOR… IS YOU!</span>”
You just barely manage to suck back up the drool building up in your mouth. Oh my god, you hiss to no one in particular, Oh my <span class="mu-i">GOOOOOD!</span>
Smiling at you with an otherworldly twinkle in his eye, Gamugo grips your hand tighter in his as your friends gather around you to watch! “<span class="mu-s">STAN-CHAN… WOULD YOU… WILL YOU SCOUR THE GALAXY… AT MY SIDE? FOR GAMES?</span>”
<span class="mu-s">YES,</span> you gush, barely holding back your tears! A <span class="mu-i">MILLION</span> times yes!
“<span class="mu-s">AND,</span>” He continues, “<span class="mu-s">CAN I… CAN I MAKE OUT WITH YOU? WITH TONGUE?</span>”
Collapsing into his outstretched arms with a crazed ‘<span class="mu-i">HELL YES</span>’, you immediately get to work while your friends stand in a circle around you and start clapping! Man, you think as you start playing tonsil-hockey with your <span class="mu-g">INTERGALACTIC BOYFRIEND,</span> things just don’t get much better than this!
>CONTD. 