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Just floating there like a jackass is the devil, the bad one, Evil Incarnate, Akemi Homura- already grinning like a retard watching a cat trying to break free from a bag. It is already too late. That you didn't notice her coming only means that she already did something- and that shitty little smirk does nothing but convince you of that. Hiding the orphan timeline behind your back, it takes you nanoseconds to clutch your heavenly ass cheeks tight together as if they were little sisters holding fast against a hurricane: you KNOW Homura is going to slap your ass and then dance away because she’s stupid. But the Devil According to All Religions just floats around, feigning ignorance, whistling while you stab her naked back with your glare, wary of those skeletal wings. You tell everyone to buu!! buu the bad guy! But nobody does.
That, of very course, something happens. Homura does an oopsie, and 'accidentally' drops something when she turns around. You are ready for everything, or so you thought- when you realize that lying on the floor, mouth gaping, is another, brand new and shiny Law of Cycles. You pick it up INSTANTLY, still covering your rear, and drill into it with your right eye while the left one is pinned on the harbinger of doom and dark. It's just the same old stuff- no, it isn't! A 30% discount on off-brand toilet paper, 70% on the second unit of canned tuna (near the expiration date but whatever), a coupon system that gives you a coupon for each purchase over eight MadoCoins, that can even be used to get discounts for meat... this Law of Cycles has everything! And stunned as you are, you didn't realize that others noticed as well- some of the Magical Girls are already climbing your arm.
You toss it away, and Homura catches it mid-air; then she spins it on her finger like a basketball, mocking you. Cheap lettuce may be nice, you let her know, but it won't ever beat the hard-earned stability of /tradition/! Yet, you find yourself sweating, sweating a quadrillion Pacific Oceans- it wouldn't do if the Magical Girls figured out that you've been lobbying to keep the price of sugar up artificially in exchange of off-the-book profits. Angry, you tell Homura to never come back, who just sheepishly floats away escorted by your shouting. Only for you to swallow your own screams as you realize that you've let your guard down and left the orphan timeline alone again, if only for a few seconds, and rush to it like a subway on steroids.
