Quoted By:
I wanted to be great. I wanted to become someone valuable, powerful, useful, desired, loved. Not loved for who I was, not freely, not the way a beautiful woman or a clever child is, but from the sum of my actions. The sum of my masculine impulse to provide value and be of <span class="mu-i">becoming</span> instead of <span class="mu-i">being</span>. I wanted to straddle puberty and look out into the world and say “I am a part of this and I deserve to be a part of this”.
To be valued. As a man, to be sexually powerful. To be economically powerful. To receive a firm handshake and the nod of approval, or at least the look of adoration present on every father's face when their son achieves some great thing they wished they had. I've never had that feeling, and I never will.
Awwww waahhh wahh you never LEARNED how to be a real man. Nobody ever taught you how to <span class="mu-i">learn</span>, nobody ever gave you that helping hand that let you make yourself into yourself- but ohhh not that way, not the way other people get their free hand out that invalidates all the effort they put in. At least, according to you. You're such a faggot. I'm tired of hearing you complain. All I do is complain- and I'm my own worst critic. So I stop complaining. I turn it off. I'd rather wallow in oblivion- animal quiet- as opposed to listen to my own hyper critical voice in my own mind. I can only imagine everyone else has no such voice- or they do and they are equally miserable. Equally cuckolded by the modernized industrial system that makes one believe they are powerless. Powerless or powerful, irrelevant. Real men blow the shit out of themselves with bomb vests for fake Gods. You can call it stupid and a pointless endeavor, not even scratching a dent in the institutions, visible and invisible, that they are battling- but you yourself wish you were so brass and so bold as to take violent revenge on those who harmed you. Maybe your standards are just too damn high, did you consider that?
Oh look at me, I'm Akule, a pure blooded “Mainlander”, better and superior then every other shitty race of shitty bipedal monkey. Look at me. My pelt is so blue and my nostrils are just the right shape- the genetics of the great master race. Look at what my people have accomplished- and which of those things did you accomplish? You hate the world they created and yet you're proud of them. You want it both ways again, you stupid fuck.
