>>5982481>Gothic double>>5993726>THERE's SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME> "AUTO UPDATE"You know how I was researching some contemporary updates for vampires, trying to create a new vampire mythology that diverges from the established genre elements etc.
>>5967885>>5981092Well I was researching stuff like vampire aversion to mirrors etc. It lead to this article, I learnt about "MIRROR PLAY" (oh my god lol) and "AUTOSEXUALITY"
Reading this article cheered me up immensely for some reason, even if it is all made up, the hilarity is far too overwhelming tee hee hee
October 2023
https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/61117/1/autosexuality-we-speak-to-the-people-who-turn-themselves-on>As a young person, Chris was deeply attracted to himself. Nothing turned him on more than gazing across a crowded room into a mirror and when he got to college, the relationship grew sexually. “I had a portable five-foot-long body mirror I kept under my bed in my dorm room. I would slide it out, undress, and lay down upon it, stomach to stomach with my reflection. Slow moves, gentle hip thrusts. Eye contact. It was true lovemaking. And the climaxes were beyond words,” he says. “But I had to keep it a secret, like a forbidden love affair.”>Fearing judgement from others, Chris kept his relationship with himself hidden, masking it in flings with others he found unfulfilling. He describes the relationship with himself as “addictive”, explaining that as his autosexuality has deepened, his ability to reach climax with others has become near impossible. “In the fantasy of my mind, I have to imagine that I’m fucking myself, that it’s another Chris up against me,” he says. “Only then can I reach a climax.”(...)
>But though their autosexuality is beautiful and fulfilling, it is entangled within a lifetime of depression and a longing grief for a love story that can never truly consummate itself. For Adam, the sexual bewilderment of loving someone who simultaneously exists and can never exist triggers a dissonance which he describes as akin to bereavement. As such, coming to terms with their sexuality means mourning themselves. “I needed to grieve that I cannot be with myself in the same way I can be with other people,” they say. “That I cannot feel the touch the same way, that I cannot hug myself like other people, or ever have sex with myself because there’s only one body.” 