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Good evening, I'm Chad Fuckman, and you're watching Channel 4 News. Our top story tonight, shocking and puzzling new details have emerged on the attempted terrorist attack on British Airways Flight #2 to Bermuda earlier this week. According to new reports by the FBI and DHS, the team of three terrorists attempted to use a crude fake bomb to gain access to the plane's cockpit for reasons as yet undetermined. When confronted by Federal Air Marshal Daryl Seagram, the terrorists assaulted Seagram by urinating and defecating on him, prompting him to open fire, killing two terrorists and injuring one. No other injuries were reported and the plane landed safely. One of the deceased terrorists was identified as 41-year-old Egyptian national Sayyid Mohammed Abbas, and the surviving one as 39-year-old American urologist Dr. Lawrence Goldwater. The third terrorist, also deceased, was at first falsely identified due to having used a fake passport, but through DNA testing has been positively identified as 30-year-old American citizen...
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