>>5435562Bishonen Blade (匕首刃)
Hikikomori sword of ten thousand folded edges, forged from the furnace pyre of plundered animes quenched in weeaboo tears to the hammered shame-screams of Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. A relic of the mysterious Kuromaku Kaigi, the precious jade steel of this blade was said to have been retrieved from fragments of iron sand, erotically twisted fuselage and crash wreckage found in the burning Kodama estate. It is said that the wielder of this blade can overcome even the supernatural reflexes of a vampire sorceror - even one who completed Bushido Blade 1 and 2 on PSX though he may have looked up the cheat codes on gamefaqs to unlock all the characters and also used emulator save state shortcuts a lot.
>roll 1d61 The shame is too great. The corrupting power of anime causes your mind to detonate like whatever happened in that Tetsuo Akira flesh explosion, and all that remains is a gibbering drooling wreck. A massive thermonuclear crater scars the land but perhaps in a few decades time Clint Eastwood will direct or co-produce a film of your disgrace portraying this battle from the American viewpoint and how it made some US soldiers feel a bit sad
2 You attempt to perform a cool iaijutsu slash: you resheathe the blade swiftly in your own entrails.
3 When you unsheathe the sword, you are mesmerised by the swirling hamon and gunome edge patterns upon the differentially hardened steel. You decide to direct an NHK TV documentary about the swordsmithing and tempering process, which will be endlessly replayed in some hotel room channels watched idly by bored financiers during tedious investment conferences.
4 You reach for the sword but discover it is missing. Instead Tom Cruise culturally appropriated it, he spent two days cosplaying as a samurai, murdered you and bedded your wife and became the greatest samurai in the land. He already completed this mission, and moved on to dance in Tropic Thunder instead.
5 You reach for the sword but there are ONE THOUSAND swords scattered around a deathtrap village with 13 assassins from that Takashi Miike film. There is a very long and confusing battle, elaborate bloodshed and slaughter which probably could have been avoided if that silly man at the beginning had just stopped committing seppuku.
6 With a howl of triumph and the cutting edge of your anime blade you vanquish the vampire sorceror. Anime is unstoppable - nothing can stand before you and live.
