Quoted By:
"Sure, do you have Shrek?"
"No, but I'm pretty sure it's on Netflix".
You and Dr. Goldwater return to the living room and seat yourselves on the couch, carefully positioning yourselves to not sit in the poop stains. Dr. Goldwater pulls up Shrek on Netflix and you watch gleefully. It's just as amazing as it was the first five thousand times. Adventure, comedy, action, romance, Shrek has it all. You used to have all the merchandise and movies. You prayed to Shrek every night before bed. Shrek is love. Shrek is life. When the credits roll, Dr. Goldwater asks, "Should we watch Shrek 2 now?"
"Let's practice our roleplay for tomorrow, I want to ace the retarded cousin act" you reply.
"Great idea, get back in the wheelchair and I'll show you-"
"I will be Donkey and you can be Shrek!"
"What?"
You unseat yourself and get down on all fours. Dr. Goldwater says "Milord, if I can humbly ask you to stay out of the puddle..."
"So let me get this straight, you're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess, just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp, which you only don't have 'cause you filled it full of freaks in the first place, is that about right?"
"You know what?" says Dr. Goldwater, "maybe there's a good REASON donkeys shouldn't talk".
"Eh, I don't get it Shrek, why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him?"
"Milord, I'm not just playing along, I'm trying to tell you something."
"You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread, you know, the whole ogre trip?"
"Milord, this is serious. Do you want to go to Bermuda or not?
"Uh, no, not really, no."
"Well that's a relief to be honest, guess I'll cancel our plane tickets."
"Like what?"
"I mean the ones we'd need to board the plane".
"They stink?"
"No, because you just said you don't want to go".
"Oh, they make you cry!"
"If anything I'm about to cry because you're making this so difficult."
"Oh, you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown, start sprouting little white hair-"
"NO! Jesus Milord, you're roleplaying all wrong!"
"You're the one screwing up your lines Bozo, you're supposed to say layers, onions have layers!"
Dr. Goldwater plants his face in his palm. "We are so screwed" he mutters.
>Well, that's enough roleplay for now. Lie down on the couch and try to get some sleep, since we have to get up extra early tomorrow.
>Continue acting like Donkey
>Practice acting like Fiona
