>>5343372>>5343399>>5343539>>5343669"Are you coming with me?" Flora asks, not inviting Guts for obvious reasons.
"...I would be grateful if you could spare us a plate. We will thank Schierke at a later date for the meal." You cover your face, still pretending that you are having coherent thoughts.
"Understood. I will leave you alone for now."
In actuality, you just didn't wish to ruin the mood your team is having. their high spirits would probably be contaminated by the fear you are exhaling in your being, even if you only appeared in there for a brief second, it would go anywhere but unnoticed.
Flora returns with two dishes full of peas, nuts and cabbage leaves you alone with Guts. You are angry enough to shatter those nuts by squeezing them inbetween your fingers, yet a single pea is nearly unpatable, it all tastes like bile with the array of emotions you're feeling.
Your vision is still doubled, the conversion of negative Od is visible even by Guts, you can't stay like this, no matter how much you obsess over your failures.
"Carve this words in your mind Vlad Santana. I am no slave to the God Hand, i was made to put an end to them and i have accept this role. I have a power that can destroy them, if only I master it first. Even behelits could be made in nothing but ash by it. And so I shall not be used by them, not now and not ever."
Feeling your blood pressure returning to normal, your mind slowly clears itself as you purge yourself of your own, monstruous ambition. Such paranoia would only lead to you developing a beast of darkness like Guts.
Speaking of him, he still hasn't had a single bite out of his meal, instead quietly observing your struggle against yourself.
Feeling like he has gone through a similar ordeal, you attempt to comfort him in his problems, really meaning to comfort yourself, by remembering that you are not alone in this, theorizing what could be done to defeat them.
"Even with all their power, if they were humans once it means they might still have something left of their humanity."
"I find that hard to beleive. Didn't you hear the witch? To have that much power, your ego needs to be gone. Vessel for ideas, or something like that."
"If they are evil incarnate, then they are no true allies or friends of each other. The reason they are not competing though, is to get hold of the world. But even so, none of them has reason to let one of them gain more power than the rest before the world is taken."
"Maybe, you said it once that they were cyclical, so something had to come before them to give them that power."
"The hell kings have prepared long to create this apocalypse. And they are working further now, spreading lies, spreading misfortune and destroying anyone that might be an alternative to their puppet, but not all believe their lies. We have proven more than once we can't be easily defeated both in battle and conviction."
